the rabbit howls

it's been an interesting break

2012-01-28T21:20:00.001+13:00

i knew from watching the muppets as an adult that they were pretty subversive but sesame street is just filthy. bert wants to know why that beaver wants all that wood. and elmo spends all his time saying hey baby. to underage people.
just filthy.
and now i'm off to eat ice-cream.

i love messing with the heads of stupid people

2011-12-30T14:56:00.003+13:00

apologies to the genuinely stupid people out there...i'm sure it's not completely your fault

last night in my sleep i wrote a deeply profound blog entry. it was amazing (i'm sure). i think it was about the stupid person who came to my door the other day. she was from mercury energy. every now and then they cold call to get new business. she started the spiel...we're in your area to check you're on the best deal yada yada yada. she then asked me 'do you know which energy company you're with?' to which i replied 'yes i do know which energy company i'm with.' she looked a bit puzzled and stated a bit more of the spiel. then she asked me again 'do you know which energy company you're with?' to which i replied, again, 'yes i do know which energy company i'm with.' she kind of giggled nervously. i then decided to put her out of her misery/stupidity and said i was perfectly happy with my energy company thanks. i think she thought i was reluctant to tell her but really she was asking the wrong question. the script writer didn't do a very good job.
silly girl.

(1636)

another year over...

2011-12-17T14:08:00.001+13:00

...thanks john lennon.
i may find some time at some stage to write something deeply profound, or not. though i did like my friend's comment about me wanting to see a movie...the cat in the hat? she asked...well to be fair it is a cat and he wears a hat, but the movie is puss in boots. going to see it later this afternoon...and in 3D. it's my first full length feature in 3D.hope i don't leave with a headache.

(1600)

half a day to go

2011-12-14T19:51:00.002+13:00

...but that's not counting the half day on friday that the boss demands of us...

(1591)

blogging from school....

2011-12-13T14:34:00.002+13:00

...ooh, naughty!

(1589)

2 1/2 days to go

2011-12-12T18:57:00.000+13:00

and still counting...

(1585)

4 1/2 days to go

2011-12-11T15:47:00.000+13:00

and counting

(1581)

just gotta love 'em

2011-12-03T18:35:00.004+13:00

went to a union gathering last night and learned an interesting spin-off about national's (no it's not a typing error..there's nothing 'national' about them) standards. we think we have it hard at a mid-decile school (it's 4). we will struggle to get all our students up to standard no matter how much we work our arses off. but at two high decile schools represented in the room they have had parents request their children be kept back a year because they aren't 'meeting the standard'. one school had 600 students and 13 lots of parents have made that request. the other has had 6 parents...this is from a very very wealthy and educated area in wellington. the principal of that school said that the first school was twice her size so that was comparable. that is scary. i (and some of the others in the room) were floored. maybe it isn't so rosy in decile 10 land after all.

(1556)

my team lost

2011-11-29T20:47:00.003+13:00

and i don't mean the national cricket side (aka the slack craps) or the sevens team or the fast ferns (that's the 20/20 version of netball i think but i haven't managed to keep up with that...i'm hoping my netball fiend blogger friend will update me on that).

RIP (fuck off) goff. you did the best you could in the face of a smarmy slimy git who could work a crowd and a land full of ignorant morons and 'tards (apart from the intelligent 24% of you). i remember protesting against you in the early 90s...and i mean early, 1990. that was when you had the requisite 'stache and those big ass wire frames that were de rigeur at the time. you made the best of what you had. i forgave you so you must have done something ok.

i suggested, rather rashly in hindsight, that my friends and i stage a ritual burning of all things blue. but then i realised i'd have to burn my car. i quite like my car. it's a faux holden which i like and holden is red so i think my car is not in fact blue as it appears but red (and that's the truth).

so, in conclusion, thanks to all you morons and 'tards who have made it really hard for me to do my job, the one job i have wanted to do since i was 5. i seriously hope that the information i have been given is wrong. it hasn't ever been in the past but maybe this one time it may be.

(1517)

i had a chat with my mate trev today

2011-11-25T21:23:00.003+13:00

that's mr mallard to the rest of you plebs. it was mentioned that the current 8 week term has been horrific. he said to me that it was his fault. i said to him please do not do that again. to which he replied it will not happen again for a long time and why not? then i said because it's been a hard term. he said is that because it's been short? i said that's part of it. the children have been shits. i left him to ponder that.

(1497)

it's been a while

2011-11-18T20:08:00.002+13:00

since last time we won the rugby world cup. a nail-biter of a final that at times i couldn't watch.

end-of-termitis has well and truly set in, and that's just from me. some of the students are climbing the walls. thought i had another drug-bust today but the evidence had disappeared by the time i got to it. 4 weeks to go. it cannot go soon enough. i'm sick of telling people that this second half year has been long and tiring and having them say we had 11 week terms in the past. especially people who should know better and just keep dumping more and more paperwork on us.

the sonny bill williams effect

2011-10-14T10:16:00.003+13:00

this is when something decidedly average (ie sonny bill williams) being made to look incredibly talented and good at something (ie rugby) by the company that they are keeping (ie japan or tonga).

so, in summary, when sonny bill williams plays against a rugby team such as japan or tonga he actually looks like he can play the game quite well...one might even say at an above average level. however, when he is up against a much better quality team such as australia he looks decidedly average.

an example of the sonny bill williams effect was how good france looked in their quarter final against england.

and just in case you're wondering, it's now on the internet so it must be true.

(1387)

quarter finals time

2011-10-07T17:14:00.003+13:00

it's quarter finals time (as my title says). i'm a bit excited now. i have enjoyed the round robin games. i'm ok with us getting an opposition that ...shall we say... we may (read that should) beat this time round. though i'm thinking if we got the french this time round we'd probably beat them too.

dc has given us an excuse if we lose. he has strained his willy (well that's what we call it in my family) and judging by the way he was writhing around on the ground it pained him. personally i don't see the big deal (:P).

so at the risk of being made a fool, and that's something that happens almost daily, my picks are:
wales over ireland, france over england, us over argentina. the last semi i'm finding hard to pick. and it's all the irish team's fault. they beat the aussies and threw the whole draw into chaos. i want the aussies to win. i think we have a better chance of beating them. but i think south africa will win.

i also see that i am not alone in my conspiracy theory that, in fact, robbie 'dingo' deans is on the all black's payroll and is deliberately training the aussies so they are shite.

and one more conspiracy theory. israel dagg, richard kahui and zac guildford all out 'injured' for the quarter final. one that we should win in a canter if one was going by the form book (but as we all know, for the all blacks the rugby world cup is a vicious and unsatisfying beast). all this so mils can have his 100th test? and so that SBW gets a sympathy game? he will not get a start for the important games. despite all his 'skill' the better teams make him look very, very average. he looks superb against teams that are the next tier down (such as tonga and japan etc.)

for nostalgia's sake i'm hoping for an all black's france final. but i think i would equally enjoy an all blacks wales one. in another two and a bit weeks all will be revealed.

(1364)

they was robbed

2011-09-18T21:37:00.002+12:00

what an awesome game the SA wales one was. in the beginning i was cheering for south africa (being a fellow down under team and on a more shallower note wearing green...my second favourite colour) but by the end the leeks had it. and afterwards i saw they was robbed. but. as an armchair rugby expert (in my day girls weren't allowed to play rugby...and no...i'm not that old) there was one fundamental error. when you get the ball you must run forwards. towards the try line. they tended to run sideways. so while they deserved to win they probably never would have achieved it.

and on another green note. go the irish. thank you for beating robbie (and the strayans). now i'm worried. i think the japies will win (and i never said that!).
(1339)

i love free stuff

2011-09-11T13:32:00.001+12:00

tonight i get to go to a world cup game. for free. it should be a good game. south africa vs. wales.
no SBW in sight.

(1273)

woo hoo

2011-09-09T19:15:00.002+12:00

RWC bring it on...so i don't have to hear about sonny bill williams ever again...he's a cock.

and a disclaimer...the next few blogs may contain rugby related content, if i can be inspired. you have been warned.

(1267)

they made a liar of me

2011-08-28T19:43:00.003+12:00

so last night the ABs lost their second game in a row. and they deserved it. for both games they played like shit. in the lead up to all previous world cups they have won everything in sight. this time they are losing. i'm hoping that's a good omen. the cup starts on sept 9th. i'm going to watch it. i know it's all sellout commercial claptrap but i like rugby.

(1252)

ABs did OK last night

2011-08-07T18:40:00.004+12:00

after going up 10 nil in the first ten minutes i knew we had it in the bag. hope it lasts.

1220

yay southland

2011-07-24T18:34:00.003+12:00

congratulations on winning the shield back in the first challenge of the year.

two people have told me now that snow is expected tomorrow...don't let me down snow gods.

1191

at the risk of incurring the wrath of mothers out there...

2011-07-08T18:34:00.002+12:00

victoria beckham is due to 'give birth' this weekend with an elective caesarean cos she's 'too posh to push'. i'm ok with caesarians for valid medical reasons...i have no issues with that. my issue is she has elected to have a caesarian from the birth of child number one and i know that all subsequent caesarains have medical risks. but my issue is the term 'giving birth' which to me implies something active.

that's all for now.

(1126)

i'm with michael laws...

2011-07-05T19:42:00.003+12:00

...despite him having one of the worse cases of small man's disease i've ever seen.

there must be a reason why the penguin left its natural habitat. do we really have the right to lock it in a 'cell' and be all voyeuristic about watching it? i know it's interesting (for about 10 minutes). all it does is preen, nod its head, shake its flippers, stand and make brown stuff come out of itself. i know it's a bit anthropomorphic of me but i think we should just leave it alone cos i think it's not nice to lock it up.

(sits back and waits for the indignant replies).

1109

yeah so

2011-07-01T19:48:00.002+12:00

i don't have so much to say but i'm still here. i have a post about the gym brewing but i: a. can't be arsed writing it at the moment and b. think it may identify specific people (not that i care that much).
the people that determine term lengths should realise that 11 weeks in winter is far too long. today i had a very clayton's week 9 friday. we have two weeks to go. i'm exhausted and don't give a shit. just how much busy work can i squeeze in?
1091

scariness

2011-06-25T18:09:00.001+12:00

on monday we have ERO...at the risk of the wrath of the boss...meh...WYSIWYG. i'd like my life back please.

i'm reading robert muchamore as recommended by my aunt. i'm loving him...as are my nephews and sister in law and four of my students...yay for reading!

and i'm back

2011-06-08T19:23:00.002+12:00

which makes me wonder...i've been without the internet at home for three weeks. in that time i did not die, i did not lose any friends, i read some books. so do we really need it?...there are some learning things i'll hook up with...but in the 'weekend'.

and another thing...nonu and hore get sacked...meh. nonu is a cock...hore is honest...opinions are divided about the hammer...

hands up if you feel ripped off

2011-04-24T19:03:00.002+12:00

it'd be lovely to have anzac day as a holiday...just like our cuzzy bros in aussie (i know i know...i am technically 'on holiday' but just so you know, i am going in to work tomorrow before a combat class at 12.15).

names

2011-04-07T19:42:00.013+12:00

they're very important. they define you.

i have this theory (and i know i'm not alone) that if you give your child a crap (ie made up or non-standard) name then that means trouble. there are also names that seem to routinely crop up as belonging to children who are trouble. and i've discovered this year that there is a name that rhymes with my least favourite boy's name that also applies to a child who is hard work. there are certain professions that find it a challenge to name their children cos there are lots of names that remind you of children.

the other thing is spelling of names when a spelling pattern is misused. eg. cayenne is not pronounced cheyenne and shannia is not pronounced shania (no matter what you say).

(p.s. there are some paragraphs in here but for some reason they aren't coming out as such...i don't know)
(p.p.s. i came back and edited (editted?...just doesn't look right and as a chinese speller that's what i go by) them back in)

cricket 80s stylez (with name drop alert too)

2011-03-19T22:11:00.006+13:00

the recent fund raising match for christchurch at the basin has stirred some memories.

once upon a time we could actually play cricket. chats was there…still trim and taught at 60 and with that unmistakable action.

edgar opened. what a pretty cricketer to watch. very much underrated. he was at the other end for THAT delivery (and as a side note, i never noticed he had such hairy forearms) and he looks like a librarian (no offense to librarians).

andrew jones did well too. he was also underrated. he was martin crowe’s foil. he was at the other end for the record partnership. he scored 186, i think, when crowe scored his 299. upon crowe’s dismissal he (hogan that is, not jonesy - not the most interesting of nicknames i must say) took to a coke machine (which probably deserved it). i was there. he also took out the knob end of the picket fence.

roger twose has beefed up a little, but not to stockley’s florid proportions. or even geoff allot who looks like he has spent his entire retirement eating pies. macca (the cricket one) also needs to watch out. he’s beefing up too. but back to roger. what a beautiful player to watch. what grace and poise.

i enjoyed seeing paddles bowl again. i was surprised he did. i’d heard he was only there to rattle a bucket. he held the world record for the number of wickets once. he took 9 wickets in a match and caught the tenth. he still has it. (i’ve met him too).

loved listening to adam parore this morning saying that he accidentally stumped andrew jones and that jonesy was pissed off. i was left wondering why the ‘real’ game is so uptight. imagine if we had a she’ll be right attitude. it would be so much more fun.

that game was a testament to fun-ness. it was a great game. how amazing a sporting talent is tana? in trying to avoid a ball he takes a ripper of a catch. he’s never bowled before but takes a wicket. is there anything sports-wise that man cannot do? i’ve met him. i’ve played golf against him (yes i have played 3 rounds of golf, very badly). two impressions prevail. he’s shorter than I expected and there is not one ounce of fat on him.

i enjoyed that game. i’m also pleased that my cricket mad nephew can catch a glimpse of what we used to be. today i heard the black caps (stupid name that!) described as almost minnows. i have to agree.

once we were awesome.

so much ado about nothing

2011-03-14T20:10:00.002+13:00

sorry about misquoting wills (shakespeare, not windsor) but the recent tsunami alert amounted to nothing. i unpacked my bag.

i think i'm into the boring and meh and overwhelming (all at once) stage of term. plus the dreaded ERO (dun dun dun). we've been hearing for a wee while now (ie at least 18 months) that if we get a bad review it's our fault (not the boss's). ok. whatever. and before you all ask, there are no jobs.

plus i'm not sure how to fully use all the expensive (as we're constantly reminded) new equipment we've had installed. so that's a good enough reason to stay. and i'm pleading the 5th and deleting this if it gets out (but i'm sure there's a geek out there who will resurrect it...once it's been published it's there forever...)

i'm pushing publish...repercussions be damned!

p.s. this post is dedicated to the bracket.

so who pissed off the quake gods?

2011-03-12T17:36:00.002+13:00

now japan has an 8.9...that is a seriously HUGE quake. and the tsunami that followed, while tragic and devastating, was just spellbinding to watch. do we applaud or curse instant pictures? the scientist in me (and in geologists judging by what they were saying) is greatful that we can study this stuff and understand it more. but you still have to think that you are watching people being swept to their death. and their houses being swept away.

something just fleetingly crossed through my mind...and i've forgotten it. if it was important i'll remember it and add it in. and the remembering will possibly happen just as i post this. or it won't.

i may have cleared my inbox

2011-03-06T18:49:00.003+13:00

my schoolbag is no longer filled with papers i need to mark. that is a HUGE breakthrough. it means i have ascended the mountain of paper that we are required to traverse.

we now have the six week check to make sure that all the boxes are ticked. a bit like anne tolley, the current minister for education, and her 'national standards'. we all have to comply with the dreaded 'six week check'. this is where we prove our paperwork is all up to date. a bit more pressure seeing as this year we have ERO (very scary apparently...meh...i know i'm a good teacher so i'm not scared. i can teach dyslexics to read...i'm THAT good).

so...the link with anne tolley...and there is one though i am drawing the long bow a bit...she has said all schools need to do national standards, even though she said 50% of schools are failing and that's why we all need to do them. ERO has a five year cycle for schools who are performing well. the boss wants us to get on that. i suggested to her that the teachers she knows are 'doing their job' should go on to a similar thing. where we (and yes i mean me) go on to a two or three year cycle where we don't get the six week check...cos we can be trusted. it didn't fly.

and on another note. anne tolley has been very quiet about national standards recently...i'm hoping she's ignoring them so they'll all go away.

and on other non school related news. there was no one in christchurch cathedral when the quake hit. which is great. that means the 22 dead didn't eventuate. i want to know where they got that number from. the moon guy, who i think is called ring, is making a lot of people scared. no one can predict earthquakes and if you're so worried about the 20th of march then go hunker down somewhere. this has not been helped by the two recent quakes in wellington (a 4.5 and a 4.7). we get 3 or 4 of them a year according to the scientists. and as a scientist i side with them. the recent christchurch quakes were a 1 in 15,000 year occurrence (the 7.1). wellington's 'big one' is a 1 in 700 year occurrence and we are halfway through that cycle...i'm not running for the hills. i have water and food so i'll be ok. but odds are i'll be at school when the biggie happens. if that's the case then i'm in some serious shit...it's a big hill i have to walk over to get home, that's if it survives the tsunami (my home, not the hill, i'm in the 'red zone').

one week later

2011-03-01T21:05:00.002+13:00

155 confirmed dead and 240 predicted...not as many as napier 1931. i had an inservice course today and i was a bit annoyed i couldn't be with my class for the two minutes silence. i was in a cafe at 12.51 pm today and the people next to me just kept on talking...i wanted to jump up and talk to them about being respectful...but i didn't cos that would have been undignified and disrespectful...besides, i don't think ignorant people deserve my time...

the earth shakes

2011-02-25T21:31:00.009+13:00

nearly six months ago there was an earthquake. it struck at 4 ish am. in another island i felt it. it was 7.1. while it was a shock it happened (and 7.1 is a beauty), it was a new fault and never meant to happen where it did (as you can see by the blase-ness and only passing mention of my post), we were all thankful there was only damage to buildings which are replacable and no loss of life apart from a lemur.

flash forward to 22/02/11 at 12.51 pm. a 6.3. in the same city. smaller but shallower and closer. 113 dead and counting. 228 missing presumed dead. the greatest tragedy on nz soil since napier 1931 (ironically at about this time).

my people are safe (my uncle and the people i know and the family of the people i know). three of the guys who were working on the organ in the durham st methodist church damaged in the sept 4 quake (2 days after my birthday so that's why i remember it) also worked on the organ in my church when someone set fire to it. they didn't survive the quake. i did not know them. i knew of them in passing. but i feel for their people. my ex vicar's church is gone. new zealand is such a village (six degrees of separation be damned...down here it's two) that everybody knows somebody who was affected by this thing.

christchurch was not meant to get this. wellington was...and the most endearing and poignant image i see (for me) is of the cathedral. it is a beautiful building. but is just a building.

i said to my students yesterday that the christchurch they know is not the christchurch that their children will know. that got me too.

here are some pics that i found while trawling through trademe. my favourite (for wont of a better word) is #39. but #40 and #43 get me too...

christchurch. our thoughts are with you. there but for the grace of god go the people of wellington. we will learn from you and we mourn your people. all my people are safe...i hate being helpless but you will be back...

OMG...

2011-01-16T17:44:00.001+13:00

...do not mess with whaleoil...

and your life is not secret anymore...beware of the internet.

go the fox!

2011-01-14T16:37:00.002+13:00

i like this story...

happy new year!

2011-01-06T13:42:00.002+13:00

i've covered a lot of kilometres so far this year... (well, since christmas day)

home to wanganui (195 km)
wanganui to marton (38km)
marton to rotorua (296 km)
rotorua to mount maunganui and back (152 km)
rotorua to auckland (253 km)
auckland to marton (501 km)
marton to home (160 km)
1,595 km in fact.

that's a lot of time sitting down...no wonder my bum is sore!

it's week 9 of term 4

2010-12-10T19:37:00.001+13:00

so anne tolley...current minister for education...why, if i only work 9-3 and have so many holidays, am i still working a full 6 hour day on a saturday?...please explain.

cos i've seen...

2010-12-04T22:03:00.005+13:00

...blue skies, through the tears in my eyes...

here are my reflections on the latest installment of RH (no P for the stage version) S.
while i do enjoy my boys big and brown...i prefer my frank n' furters to be a bit less muscly and a bit more camp.

having said that...they could all sing and they all performed more than adequately. the costumes were great, the set was simple and the transylvanians who moved the stuff around were funny.

i'm with the dompost reviewer though (sorry can't find the link) and was a bit bemused by the ladder thingy going on. don't think this show needed a gimmick...it had richard o'brien. that was enough.

ah...our richard...what can i say. loved the denim tuxedo. he did a nice job...not that he had to do much...he's richard o'brien. and sure, he's a one hit wonder...but what a hit... and i know he's not the best of singers...but i'm going to forgive him that...he's richard o'brien.

i enjoyed it, but it was all over too soon (it is after all only 2 hours and 5 minutes long...and that included a 20 minute interval).

the encore was great. i am not among the (i'd like to think few but really) many who can say they've done the timewarp with richard o'brien. he received a fantastic welcome. and despite the government's best efforts to keep him out i'm glad he came back. he makes me almost nearly get over missing rob muldoon as the narrator cos i think he went and died or something (can't remember but check out the wiki link here and go down to the 80s bit...russell crowe was in it and steve from shortland street) and we ended up with john banas as the narrator and not even the better super sub billy t.

and he proves that there is at least one interesting thing to come out of hamilton (apart from our dan).

long time no see...

2010-11-13T17:14:00.003+13:00

this interweb thing is truly amazing. via message boards i have found out things about family members that i didn't know about and i have known them my whole life, even lived in the same house as them on and off for about 25 years! and since this information has been published on the internet it must be true. who'd a thunk it!

musings upon the comm games

2010-10-08T22:04:00.004+13:00

who is sick of advance australia fair?...i know the tune is way better than our national anthem but guys…too many golds already…

we have at least four tin medals. i think tin should be a legitimate medal…we won enough at the last games (19 from memory).

we so need a new flag. when one is peering at the telly it needs to be more clearer and less subtle than a slightly different blue that it is not in fact ‘those bloody aussies’

gymnastics…boys..great muscles…girls…way too much glitter

aussie cycling uniforms…sweat has been unfriendly to you..or at least the illusion of sweat… it looks like you have rampant and out of control pubes…just an observation

and wrestling…how homoerotic is it?...’nuff said me thinks

john macbeth (mcbeth…unsure of spelling and who really cares apart from him)…commentating on the swumming…new zild accunt rules…and i quote…it’s the swum team…really, past tense?

my bro had it right…cyclists are mormons in lycra…i like it

dear paul henry…there are two members of the gymnastics team who may not be ‘real’ new zealanders. one has a slavic sounding name and the other looks a bit asian…and the coach doesn’t look like a new zealander either

still on gymnastics…a japanese handstand?...seems to be flavour of the month. back in my days of being a gymnast it was a handstand…none of this wide arms nonsense…we were just straight up and down…whether we liked it or not. bring back the punch front
and on another note…the asian looking kiwi mentioned above did a proper handstand…i like him already!

and we are at 5 silver, 3 bronze and 4 tin…for those who are counting…

you have spoiled me

2010-09-29T23:24:00.003+13:00

the best coffee ever...no argument...i will spread your message far and wide (context...i have barely survived the last four days with bad coffee...bad bad coffee...rotovegas...you need to sort out your coffee, and everywhere else i've visited, and this includes foreign climes)

last night I considered building an ark

2010-09-19T21:00:00.001+12:00

we were in the grips of a fierce storm which decided to schedule itself when i had to drive up-country. i was staying at a place i haven’t been before and should have been fairly easy to spot due to the fucking big sign posted. but i missed it. i drove a couple of clicks up the road to the lake alice turn off. then had to double back in sideways rain. not pleasant.

i had a moment of nostalgia though cos my paternal great-grandfather was confined to the lake alice psychiatric institution (now closed down) when it was decided that he and my great-grandmother needed to be separated because she had some sort of medical condition (which at under 10 i was not privy to and was possibly just old age). he was mentally normal but there was nowhere to put him in the late 70s/early 80s nz that could cope with someone separated from the love of their life and not brought up to cook and clean for themself as the men of the time weren’t. they went from their mother’s care to their wife’s care..it was just how it was.

anyway. finally found my way to marton and my bed for the night despite the sideways rain. when i eventually got to said bed i was confused. now, i live in ‘windy’ wellington and palmerston north, which was where i was staying by day, is actually far windier than wellington but welly always gets the bad rap. the reason why i was confused was due to arriving in the dark and not actually being able to visualise my surroundings as i had never seen them in the clear light of day. there was a stand of trees outside my boudoir. the wind whistling through them sounded like the rain i hear on my roof back home so i was confused as to which sound was only wind and which was wind AND rain.

the first night was loud. the second was also so. on the first night i knew i must of slept cos i dreamed. i dreamed of flooding. the second night i also must of slept cos i dreamed about building an ark…in between being aware of maybe actually building one. i know i was awake cos the budgie in the next room screamed the whole night. it (i never asked its name or gender cos it was only being baby sat) seemed to be distressed by the storm and then rarked up the cockatoo which also began screaming for attention. in my experience it has learned to scream at approximately 7am and is a good alarm clock (on a weekday…no weekend sleep in allowed it seems). i also never knew its name or gender. in between that and the yelling lambs (i’m pretty sure I’m a true blue townie despite having visited a farm in hawera (or hara according to the locals) cos i was awoken by that too) many times in my formative years (my first ciggie was inhaled in the hay shed on said farm, not the most appropriate place i know).

on the second night there was much rain. in fact there was rain then nothing then more rain. this makes me think it was a hurricane. i made note of this between ‘sleeping’. i was woken by rain. then i was woken by not rain. and then again by rain. so. storm (build an ark). not storm (everything’s alright…JCSS reference). storm (build an ark).

on the journey home I was tailed by a police officer. i love driving but this was the most stressful piece of driving i’ve ever done. (bucket required for the next part). i have never received a fine for anything. i anally stick to the speed limit and the road rules much to the chagrin of people i know and the other drivers who like to break the law. so to be tailed by a cop for at least half an hour was not a thing i enjoyed even though i was very careful to not put a foot wrong. i was very pleased when he decided to break the speed limit and overtake me. however, approximately five minutes after tailing him (slightly less stressful cos he could now dictate the speed at which we travelled) he pulled over suddenly and i had to overtake him again. then to add insult to injury he turned on his lights as another two cars passed him. i hadn’t done anything wrong so i was ok. but now i wanted to know who he had pinged. since it occurred at the top of a rise and i was now at the bottom i never saw.

lastly. the storm first made its appearance at school on friday afternoon . i was in the gym with 60 students. they screamed at the flashes and bangs. i love thunderstorms so i was ok. it was loud and i wanted to preserve my hearing (family history of deafness and all) so with five minutes until lunch and a break in the weather i decided to take all the children back to their classrooms. when we were walking back to said classrooms there was more lightning. in nz we usually get sheet lightning. therefore i was blown away by the forked lightning bolt that descended from on high and hit the ground about 150 metres away from me (well that’s what it looked like). one of my students said he was going to come back over the weekend and see if there was a burned patch. i’ll ask him about that tomorrow. that was the best piece of lightning i’ve ever seen in nz. the production dress rehearsal was cancelled so we watched billy t and then played games. a good friday all round.

this has been a long post so laters.

random thoughts and yeah

2010-09-05T20:18:00.003+12:00

not very exciting i'm afraid (unless i get told otherwise).

i have my own back up singer...i am really enjoying one of my year 8 boys...i break into song (which i do at every opportunity) and he joins in...he rocks and improves my street cred.

what is it with saying like every second word...it's not like we're all like valley girls...like get over it already.

christchurch has an earthquake that destroys a lot of stuff...huh?...it wasn't meant to happen there...and the only fatality was a lemur...my thoughts go out to the lemur's keepers. still not sure i believe it. and i've seen the all days news broadcast and all.

i saw at least two dead seagulls on the motorway today in the same area. one was still anatomically correct so was probably fresh...it was less so when i drove past it 6 hours later. but i thought (the first time through)...if seagulls eat their own when they are roadkill...does that make them cannibals? which links in to my most favourite outrageous fortune sequence from last week's episode...ted's missis (whose name i forget)...i love a good piece of lamb; loretta...if you're mutton, does that make you a cannibal?...a great line from an unusually disappointing episode.

i like my students

2010-08-30T19:54:00.004+12:00

i think they may actually understand me and some weird shit i do.

here is my evidence. they loved the original 'under the mountain' and i doubted they would. they watched it and enjoyed it and picked up some of the culture. and are now making some connections.

today we watched some billy t james and fred dagg stuff on youtube (cos i very carefully left the dvds i'd borrowed off my dad at home). one of my boys was putting in requests. he's seen all the billy t stuff and loved it and was asking for it. we're studying nz and nz icons. i told the boss we were looking at fred dagg and billy t today. she said i hope you're looking at more than the humour. well to you...of course...cos i know how to baffle you on that stuff...but really, just the entertainment value with a bit of social commentary for added value.

i'm sure they didn't get the same out of it that i did, having lived through that nz era. i will be asking them whether they liked it and what they like and 'get' about it. that comedy is simple and subtle and does not employ any foul language. i hope they recognise and appreciate that.

and on a side note. i've had a kid dumped on me that has been kicked out of two other classes. someone told me to put him to the side and forget about him (but i expect no more from this dinosaur). another refuses to believe that he can change and be 'normal'. he may prove them right in the end but i'm prepared to give him a chance and have seen changes. what is really scary is the two that doubt him are in positions of power. now i know that they've had to deal with his bad behaviour and are probably a bit sick of him. what irks is one writes most of the naughty brown students off (and blames their families for it and will not try to find out why or empathise) and the other knows all the stuff (having nearly completed a masters in leadership) and doesn't practise it...grrr...

green jello (jelly) doesn't really suck

2010-08-13T20:31:00.003+12:00

i'm thinking they really were ahead of their time and i was too young to appreciate them. and if anyone has the album (and i know plunge has it, not that he's likely to read this) i'd like a copy for my ipod...little pig little pig is on you tube if you want to check it out...i like it...but then i'm a bogan metal fan...not the smartest of music i know...but a strong guitar and bass line gets me very time.

and metal versions of common nursery rhymes, that the parentals read to us (if they were literate) can't be all bad surely.

i love queen

2010-08-07T16:33:00.002+12:00

the band that is. i also think that brian may wrote the best songs. here are the words to one of my faves (you can substitute he for she and it doesn't change the meaning i think).

I love
She makes me
She is my heart
She is my love
She is my love

I know
I'm jealous of her
She makes me need
She is my love
She is my love

Who knows who she'll make me
As I lie in her cocoon
And the world will surely heal my ills
I'm warm and terrified
She makes me so

I know the day I leave her
I'll love her still
She is my love
She is my love

Who knows where my dreams will end
I'll follow as they grow
But the world will know how long I'll take
And if I'm very slow she makes me so

She is my love
She is my love

And i'm not getting soppy in my old age. i've loved this song since i first heard it a long time ago.

jumped the shark

2010-07-28T17:14:00.006+12:00

for those of you that don't know...jumping the shark is a reference to when seemingly good shows go bad. it was named from when the fonz literally jumped the shark. please note that he is still wearing his leather jacket and that ron howard still has hair. that was when it was decided that the show had gone bad. it is a seriously stupid episode and what were they thinking...but now it falls into the it's so bad it's now good category. upon trying to locate the jump the shark website i find it has now itself jumped the shark. you used to be able to peruse its vast collection of programmes and find when each and every one had jumped the shark (in the author's opinions) and now it seems you cannot.

anyhoo...the point of this treatise...and there is a point, believe it or not, but last night on shorty a league character called sonny bellville appeared. is it co-incidence that his name is similar to another ex-league player now featuring semi-heavily in our sports news?...or am i just being a conspiracy theorist?

and how many times has shorty 'jumped the shark'?...at least ted mcginley hasn't appeared in it...yet...

my favourite word

2010-07-27T18:14:00.002+12:00

here's what wiki says about my favourite word.

and check out the fulcher reference part of it...poetry.

it's been a while

2010-07-25T19:42:00.002+12:00

what have i been up to? not much...it's still same old same old and since the only person who added my blog to her list is in hiatus i guess i'm back to where i was...no one reads me. meh, whatever. this thing may be here for my own ego anyway.

so, what's the haps?...not much. got my master's. did choir school. survived the 11 week term. i think i now no longer care what my boss thinks...what's she gonna do?...fire me...yeah right.

i do have one concern. a friend of a friend has a blog. she's an english teacher. she has spelling errors in it. should i be concerned? i am in despair about the standard of our english and i will not accept text speak. that is not negotiable.

11 weeks is too long

2010-07-01T17:50:00.002+12:00

this term has been hell and there are two this long next year!

i'm picking that the near on 6 weeks of rain we had didn't help either.

weird things have happened over the last couple of days but i'm not sure if it's due to 11 weeks or not. one of my boys got shot by a high school kid on his way to school. it was only a BB gun but still. i think he got a bit upset when i reported it. the high school kid, who was one of our ex students and actually a good kid, was stood down. the police were informed but nothing has come of it yet.

yesterday my class watched while three high school kids tagged the back of their classrooms. we reported it and no one went out to do anything...they had a good 15 minutes to do something about it. by the time we went inside there were 6 of them out there.

and in the afternoon one of my girls got beaten up on her way home from school. fun times!

on another note, apparently the burglars leave post-it notes on your door saying you have a parcel to pick up. they leave you a number to call and give details to. several of my neighbours got one but i didn't. i guess i don't have the good stuff in my house.

roll on tomorrow 2.45pm!

blades of glory

2010-06-20T20:41:00.002+12:00

i am unashamedly watching this fillim by choice...i like it...as stupid as it is.

i just washed my gym gear

2010-06-19T19:45:00.002+12:00

and that's the most exciting thing i've done all week... how sad is that?...one day i'll publish the list of banned words on my 'plain language' report list.
oh...and just for the record...the new combat release sucks and tomorrow i'll do the new pump one providing terry has learned it...he hadn't learned the full combat new release. he is extremely lucky he's hot...

the case for letting sleeping dogs lie (with apologies to the judge).

2010-05-21T18:16:00.001+12:00

and pun intended.

we watched under the mountain today. and in my opinion…what a pile of crap!

spoilers may probably follow…you have been warned. I’m afraid I don’t have as much discretion as the judge. firstly. it was either way ahead of its time in 1982, or maurice gee was embracing the feminist revolution, but what was wrong with having rachel as the strong one? secondly. was it necessary to have a love interest for ricky? I mean please…he spent the whole movie trying to get his end away (and I was disappointed he didn’t die in the end, he was a dick). thirdly. wtf was it with mr jones? he was not very likeable at all.

I think watching the 80s series which stuck pretty closely to the book was wise in retrospect. now I know that there was way more time in a tv series to develop characters etc, but I think they departed too much from the story line. it was nearly unrecognisable as the same story.

one positive and one nice touch. I did like seeing the original mr wilberforce in the movie (I did hear the original theo and rachel were in the movie too but I must say I was not watching that closely). and it was interesting seeing the britomart in the opening part seeing as it was the same station that was in the original…just a bit flasher.

i think all of us preferred the original (shame they couldn't resurrect billy t. he was fantastic!).

ta hua ee la

2010-05-19T18:34:00.004+12:00

well this is the spelling of the words i've been led to believe are true...i'm open to other interpretations.

this is the hawaiian war chant (please don't cringe at the english lyrics...they are not a translation, just a reflection of the times) and i'm discussing the muppets' version (google hawaiian war chant muppets). it rocks. and following on from my under the mountain thing my students liked it too, but for different reasons. for the reasons that i liked the muppets. they were entertaining and they were funny. but as an adult i realise that they were entertaining and funny and also decidedly subversive. i realised this while watching the vikings...who were pigs...literally for the muppets, figuratively in real life...singing in the navy. fabulous. and ironic. i'm tempted to buy the full muppets on dvd and just watch it. twice. once trying to recapture the youthful innocent love i had for it. and again to try to see what lies beneath. but i'm thinking that maybe i shouldn't bother with the second reason. just let the muppets be the muppets. funny and entertaining.

for the record, my favourite muppets are animal and beaker.

happy day after yesterday day

2010-05-16T15:08:00.000+12:00

thought i'd continue the theme...

happy non-mother's day...

2010-05-09T12:34:00.001+12:00

...to all of us out there who are child-free either by choice or circumstance.

happy star wars day

2010-05-04T20:54:00.000+12:00

tacky i know...but may the 4th be with you!

we're watching under the mountain...

2010-05-01T16:36:00.002+12:00

...80s stylz...and i can't believe how much my year 7s and 8s love it. we're reading the book and i was going to watch the new movie afterwards to do the old compare and contrast. i thought that the 1982 series would be too naff for them so didn't bother trying to find it. boy was i wrong. one of my boys got it out from the library and they were keen to see it. they think they're 'getting out of working' by watching it. little do they know they are actually doing some learning.

a few observations...the shirt slashed to the navel look is interesting in a show for children. and what is the difference between the short shorts they wore then and the ones they wear now? i guess calling them 'canterburys' makes them more appealing. i forgot that billy t james was the traffic cop. he was channelling eric estrada and doing a great chips impersonation (of course that was lost on today's youth). despite the special effects being 1982, the students still think they're cool. the acting is appalling (even compared with the actors on shorty st) and the accents are ever so slightly british sounding. auckland has no sky tower. there were a lot of vivas back in the day. i loved my viva.

one of my boys remarked that the twins just went with mr jones even though he seemed like a pervy old man (i can't blame them though, he was wearing his pants very high). in fact they asked if there was no stranger danger back then. i replied, in a quote from the show, that they should just tell a policeman. they also thought it was weird that another old man was following them round in a hearse. i remembered that my 11 year old self would have thought nothing of it. another reminder of how the times have changed.

we had an interesting discussion about how when this was made homosexuality was actually illegal (context...the weird driver dude for the wilberforces who is not mentioned in the book. the students wanted to know if they were gay because a wife is mentioned in the book but she hasn't been in the show yet). they wanted to know if they would go to a female prison if they were arrested (!). i explained no because they were still, in fact, men.

there are pauses for ad breaks. the ads have been removed. my class would have loved for the ads to still be in there so they could watch them. they have a point. the ads would have been fascinating for them to watch.

we're going to do a threeway now. compare and contrast the book with the series with the movie...(what were you thinking?)

a volcano erupts

2010-04-17T21:07:00.002+12:00

and the world as we know it now implodes upon itself...cool...your thoughts please...

who'd have thought it

2010-04-07T18:12:00.002+12:00

i've heard they are smelly...but deadly? they were laughing on the news about this...and i'm pleased i'm not the only one who found this story funny...and yes, i know this was serious...but really?

i dreamed a dream

2010-04-04T14:18:00.002+12:00

last night i dreamed i was batman. actually i dreamed i was bill murray being batman. robin williams played robin. consequently we were a crap crimefighting team. there were some good things however. the batmobile rocked. the process whereby our costumes were spraypainted on was great too. and i had a really hot girlfriend (as bill murray playing batman so in a completely non-gay way!). the batcycle was a piece of rubbish though. the toxic smoke button didn't work and as a consequence the little kids on the treadleys managed to catch up with me (loved the 80s video game influence here).

i should not watch ads

2010-03-31T19:26:00.004+13:00

surely this is an unrealistic claim. how are we expected to believe that by buying your product a two year old can learn 'cause and effect' (that was the claim)? the product is a pretend flip-top mobile phone. and i'm sure the two year olds of today are no different from me when i was two. i didn't have a pretend flip-top mobile phone and i learned cause and effect well enough. are today's parents really sucked in by that mumbo jumbo? and i'll bet that product has a stupid price tag.

just make up a word and hope no one notices...

2010-03-30T21:42:00.003+13:00

...or just throw a big long one out and sound impressive. is moisturisation an actual word? i just heard it on an ad and i'm not convinced.

on another note and to pick up on a previous post and what a friend blogged...i love the kereru especially their white singlets (though if they were black they'd be even better), but just cos you have a big gun (mm hmm...) doesn't mean you should shoot something and then post it on the internet. sometimes boys are dumb...(but we still love you...goodness knows why!)

phil the greek

2010-03-12T18:27:00.001+13:00

i quite like the royal family but i don't take them that seriously. wish they were as exciting as henry's lot. do you reckon the queen goes home and says... phil, honestly, today you made a dick of yourself? i'd like to think she does.

just because you have the right to...

2010-03-05T18:36:00.002+13:00

...does it mean you have to? in the states they have the right to bear arms. but do they have to? it has been banned at sports games and some other stuff i can't remember. but why do you have to take your gun with you when buying the foul stuff they call coffee at starbuck's? i know why i would...but a poor coffee is not a reason to shoot someone.

channel surfing

2010-02-27T20:44:00.002+13:00

the other day i was channel surfing (as you do) and i happened to stumble upon TVNZ7 which shows retro stuff that we used to love, back when new zild was simple. i found 'a dog's show' which the husband of a friend has mentioned in his blog. there were two dogs that i was watching. one was called dick, the other peter. the farmer spent his time saying up dick, down dick, in dick, out dick...and then the same for peter. i think he saw the irony in his dogs' names.

speaking of dogs...three of my 12 year old boys are having a pissing contest to see who is top dog. it has lasted four weeks now. why do the rest of us have to suffer? and when will they realise that in my classroom i am top dog?

a more few musings

2010-02-03T20:49:00.004+13:00

is multiple personality disorder (or dissociative identity disorder, DID, cos we love acronyms) the new flavour of the month for american tv programmes? and i love tara and also loved sybil but i'm thinking lie to me, while a great show (especially now that mekhi phifer has been added, thanks wiki), is one step too far.

were the nz judges for masterchef picked to make donkey look good? their eccents are way more worser than his. is it ok to hate that the nz show is based in the aussie show? and anyway, who cares.

FB is being a shit at the moment. i hate that i've been sucked in...(showing your age statement alert...like the sybil one wasn't!...).. i remember the time before FB. it was a simpler time. we talked to each other. so if you've done anything interesting in the last few days, sorry i missed it. but seeing as the internet is forever i'm sure i'll catch up.

still hate the first day back. i'm hoping to recapture my title as meanest teacher ever. yesterday (day one) i had three year 8 boys on time out at morning tea and one at lunch. i gave the first detention of the year today. i don't want a repeat of last year's shit class for the whole year. i'm being a hard-ass.

my current least favourite word...cheftestant. a contestant in a cooking show. meh.

and on a positive note. assignment three handed in and 8,000 word lit review pretty much done. yay me!

more words of wisdom...

2010-01-21T18:06:00.002+13:00

...from our great leader, aka donkey. apparently the media should be more careful with the pitchers (sic) they publish. i've always wanted to use that term by the way. at least helen, while manly sounding, was not as koiwoi with her eccent as he is. not sure if that is endearing or cringeworthy yet...i guess time will tell.

today was a shallow day

2010-01-18T18:23:00.004+13:00

golden globes (and i don't mean fake norks, but i'm sure there were many of those on display). thanks to the miracle of sky I was able to watch said awards. I surfed them cos really they aren’t a must watch. stick insects in awful frocks…and that’s just the boys! here are some of my thoughts. sandra bullock should lay off the botox. and don’t get me started on mickey rourke. he is unrecognisable and not in a jennifer grey way. at least we can still tell who she is. mickey should’ve stopped about 20 surgeries ago. what was chloe sevigny wearing? and how boring was scorsese? if ever you craved wrap up music it was then. i found leonard maltin’s delayed picks on entertainment tonight amusing seeing as I had seen the show so knew the results for what he was predicting. he was wrong on nearly every single account. hilarious.

and. another note. as someone who fits into the cougar category…I am not offended by the air new zealand ad. those who are (in my opinion) need to get a life (and sorry i couldn't be arsed finding the ad...but here's one someone else found for me earlier...hope it still works and seeing as i only have dial up i can't check...and no...not getting broadband so stop your nagging :P).

and in the good grief stakes...the spokesperson for kia kaha (charmaine love) thinks it is 'fentestuc' that prince william wears her clobber...elocution lessons from donkey methinks.

are people really that fick?...

2010-01-17T18:52:00.003+13:00

i mean seriously. last night there was a docudrama on the tv about an 8.2 earthquake hitting wellington. now i know that the timing wasn't the best but they probably had scheduled it months before haiti. it sparked a war of the worlds reaction. people were ringing the emergency services in real distress about our "quake". and i know at least one person who had a message on her FB wall saying i heard there was an earthquake and i couldn't reach you hope you're ok please call me. couple of points. the newsreaders reading the 'news' were not people we have ever seen on the news before...that would've been your first clue, and secondly...it was a repeat...it's screened before...go be stupid somewhere else for goodness' sake.

on a different note. my new favourite word is a word that means to go really fast in a vehicle and ring the guts out of it. i'm just not sure how to spell the word. is it fang...phang...or whang...?

news from the 'fun' division

2010-01-15T15:26:00.003+13:00

this guy should be congratulated. if you can get your treadly up to that speed then more power to you. mean police.

i'm sure his parents like his name...

2010-01-10T21:19:00.008+13:00

is anthony head most famous for...
a. being the brother of murray (one night in bangkok) head?,
b. that buffy thing,
c. being the PM in little britain,
d. being hot,
e. all of the above,
f. another thing i haven't listed but someone else can contribute to...

p.s. apparently tony can sing too.
p.p.s. he's not bad for an old guy...old fullas can be hot too.

and a segue...my favourite musical is les mis. love that they have changed it as i saw when in london. love that my favourite javert is an australian (philip quast).
have read the book twice and hate that the gavroche connection to eponine was deleted. when i saw les mis in the uk i was surrounded by antipodeans. loved that. i will see les mis in as many different cities as i can. so far it's only three.

the best names in cricket today…

2010-01-08T18:59:00.000+13:00

...in my humble opinion, are onions and morkel. if anyone can tell me what a morkel is then i’d appreciate it…(i think it’s a device used to aid breathing while doing something rude)…any other ideas?

this just to hand...

2010-01-01T18:26:00.003+13:00

(image is of news reader with furrowed brow, finger firmly in ear as he delivers very important news, yes, i know, sexist, but the mispronounciation was by a man).

...today on three news a new country was invented. its name is finn-land. the founders of finn-land are a little bit strange. they all have musical talent. the elder statesmen of finn-land dress in strange attire and have friends who play the spoons. the most prominent member of the next generation of finn-landians has a strangely irish name and a beard like a rhododendron bush that you could lose a badger in. he also has a brother called elroy. more later…

happy new year (but not new decade, that is next year)!

p.s…spot the homage.

things that make me go grrrr

2009-12-30T20:03:00.003+13:00

apart from text speak, are the mispronounciation of words (and please note, all mispronounciations have been deliberately spelled phonetically)

asept (and its relative-aseptible) and if you can tell me what a sept is then more power to you!,

clision (as heard on three news yesterday),

pleece,

appreeseeate (that neighbours favourite),

yoggit,

orf,

preform,

(new edited entry...) harrissment

and the latest i heard on an advertisement (which is possibly why I don’t watch them) gl**ware (i don’t want to slip into product placement here) apparently has a texted surface.

this list is by no means exhaustive. feel free to add your own words.

p.s. sheldon rocks!

here's a novel thought

2009-12-29T20:01:00.000+13:00

the surefire way to beat the christmas bulge is to not eat all that shit in the first place. it's completely unneccessary.

two entries in one day...how prolific

2009-12-28T21:05:00.008+13:00

and this isn't even the other entry i was telling you about. i should stop watching tv cos it makes me think way too much...

anyway...

i remember when it first came out and i saw it at the movies. i know i’m showing my age but i'm proud to remember this one…ferris bueller’s day off…a pivotal moment in one’s adolescence. and a fantastic movie…charlie sheen really is very hot…

secondly…i really like this song. originally by blue oyster cult (ooh, cults are bad!) and then covered by the muttonbirds for peter jackson’s flick the frighteners…another fillim I quite like. but the muttonbirds’s (muttonbirds’…no ruling on that use of apostrophe thanks max cryer) version is down the octave so while it is still a great song…it’s just not right…
anyway…here are the words (capitals not mine…! [:P], and it looks way better when centred...don't ask me why...)

All our times have come
Here but now they're gone
Seasons don't fear the reaper
Nor do the wind, the sun or the rain..we can be like they are
Come on baby...don't fear the reaper
Baby take my hand...don't fear the reaper
We'll be able to fly...don't fear the reaper
Baby I'm your man...

Valentine is done
Here but now they're gone
Romeo and Juliet
Are together in eternity...Romeo and Juliet
40,000 men and women everyday...Like Romeo and Juliet
40,000 men and women everyday...Redefine happiness
Another 40,000 coming everyday...We can be like they are
Come on baby...don't fear the reaper
Baby take my hand...don't fear the reaper
We'll be able to fly...don't fear the reaper
Baby I'm your man...

Love of two is one
Here but now they're gone
Came the last night of sadness
And it was clear she couldn't go on
Then the door was open and the wind appeared
The candles blew then disappeared
The curtains flew then he appeared...saying don't be afraid
Come on baby...and she had no fear
And she ran to him...then they started to fly
They looked backward and said goodbye...she had become like they are
She had taken his hand...she had become like they are
Come on baby...don't fear the reaper

don't ask me to explain those lyrics cos i don't understand them...and i'm pretty sure they don't...just enjoy it...

p.s. note how i excelled on the links tonight...?!

p.p.s...they mentioned wayne mason from the fourmyular (nice play on numbers there), who was from upper hutt, in the wiki entry. i have actually met him. in the staffroom at school. and i told him i preferred the muttonbirds' version of nature which has been voted nz's best ever song and was composed at the blockhouse (and if wiki says it is so then it must exist...despite me having seen it with my own eyes, and my brother can vouch for it) just up the road from my place. he was not amused...(nature is a very excellent song...)

p.p.p.s....where were we before wiki?

four seasons in one day

2009-12-28T20:18:00.001+13:00

can’t believe I’m talking about the weather yet again.

today’s extravaganza. cloudy with a threat of rain. an overcast humidity inducing blanket. blue sky and very hot (for wellington and me that is). no drawn curtains at 4.30 pm like the last two days (due to the lack of light). an open door which facilitated the entry of my most hated insectivoids…the flies…and now I think I can smell rain.

a study in seasons…beat that!

i do have another entry brewing...i know you're waiting with baited breath...

the latest buzzword

2009-12-26T18:16:00.002+13:00

regifting. i regift. you have been warned. the term was maybe invented (haven't done my research so who knows) in a seinfeld episode (as cited by three news tonight). however i will not be regifting from the presents i received from friends and family this year. but i may regift from the students...in fact i already have, but shhh...don't tell!

what I want to know is...

2009-12-25T19:51:00.006+13:00

...on masterchef whatever version, they meticulously prepare one dish. they spend ages making it look 3 michelin stars pretty. so how does that translate into ordinary restaurant food? a regular chef surely doesn’t have all that time to titivate.

and what is it with the whole celebrity chef genre? you are mega famous cos you can cook a bit? jamie has an unfortunate lisp. gordon is a rude cheating bastard in desperate need of botox (but i'd not kick him out if you know what i mean...). michel has a white sauce named after him. julia was really tall. i’ve heard someone remark that they think jamie's tongue is way too big for his mouth. but can the bugger cook? can all of them cook? that’s what I want to know. i cooked a mean roast today. how does his compare? oh and yes...you did read correctly, i cooked. but it was cheating cos a roast is really easy.

and thanks for the timtams santa. how did you know my achilles heel? i got my favourites (schwartzwalde) plus a new one which i know i will enjoy (it has no caramel and has chocolate mousse so must be good). i’m now quite glad i did that hard workout yesterday cos now i can eat the timtams guilt-free. timtams were made by the devil!

and by the way…apparently this is post number 100. make of it what you will.

and cos i'm in a weird and wonderful mood (blame the date) here is a great movie quote...no points for knowing the movie... 'can you move the camira? i need to get the torana out so i can move the commodore...' ahh those were the days (along with metal slides...)

note for next time

2009-12-24T19:11:00.002+13:00

when ang says she is going to take it easy for christmas eve...this is untrue. even terry (phwoar) had to leave mid way for a cup of tea and a lie down. he came back though so it was all right. it was one of the hardest combat classes i've done for a while.

christmas hasn't arrived for me yet cos i haven't heard from snoopy. and i don't think i will now since i don't plan on listening to the radio again today. oh well, there's still tomorrow...

have they no respect?

2009-12-22T18:37:00.002+13:00

this is further to the auschwitz musings...which is weird cos i have no holocaust connections except that i have been to dachau and the majority of the people who died there were from krakow which is where my family is from...

anyhoo...i don't care how valuable the sign is, you don't thief off with it.

i'm pleased it's been recovered...although desecrated.

i want...

2009-12-20T16:31:00.000+13:00

...a t shirt what says...'resistance is futile, you will be assimilated'

make it so

it's a decision maurice...but not as we know it

2009-12-19T17:58:00.006+13:00

first of all...he is way shorter IRL...as they all are. and i know that cos i saw him at the airport. along with andrew hore (who is shorter than i thought) and paula bennett (who was on my flight accompanied by a very hot brown boy).

secondly...the hardest decision he has made in 20 years of politics? keep the H, drop the H…i don't care. i don't want to piss anyone off...especially not you ken mair, mr rent a protester. and according to a 'reliable source' w(h)anganui used to be called petre (pronounced peter).

people in the media are now starting to do their count down to the new decade. we all know the new decade doesn’t begin til 2011 cos the new millennium didn’t start til 2001…was I alone in celebrating the new millennium on new year’s 2000/01?...i bet I was.

i've been watching the news. not sure if that's a good idea but i do have some comments to be made. i love rugby. those who know me know that. good on you gareth thomas. there is nothing wrong with being gay and a rugby player. shame you didn't come out while playing. plus, the ink on your elbow is pretty cool.

i've been to dachau. auschwitz is on my list. hope they catch the bastards who stole the sign.

and speaking of signs...the joseph/mary one outside st matthew's in the city? make of it what you will. not putting a link here. you either a) know about it, b) don't know about it, c) will research it yourself, d) don't know and don't care, e) all of the above, f) none of the above, g) another option i haven't thought of...over to you.

next thing...still watching the news btw...am i the only one on the planet who does not want to see avatar? please let there be others.

2 1/2 days to go

2009-12-14T21:06:00.002+13:00

and they will crawl...

on a lighter note i ate the first strawberry of this year's harvest this morning. not bad for plants that are 4 years old and that i neglect.

check out the smart-ass

2009-12-08T20:04:00.002+13:00

i'm betwixt and between. how can you like the person and yet hate his politics? i kinda like donkey. his education minister is an imbicile. and that grin is deeply smarmy. surely he should be a better judge of character. and as such he would earn my respect. i've commented on his excent so maybe that is the deal breaker. not sure.

i thought i'd made up a new word

2009-12-05T18:20:00.003+13:00

until i employed my new favourite search engine. it appears that someone else invented the word zomedy. i also like that the word portmanteau is used. it's kinda a cool word. i may go see zombieland. the indiscriminate slaughtering of zombies by woody harrelson appeals. i've also heard that there is a very interesting cameo. and bill murray is in it...he is the master of dryness. and dry humour appeals. it is deeply funny.

oh...and by the way...black caps suck...still...i may have to become a football fan. at least the only way for a supporter of the all whites is up!

and last but not least for today. for all you people from the netherlands (as well as aruba, suriname, netherlands antilles and belgium) ...Gelukkig sinterklaas dag...

RIP junior. i miss you.

my least favourite cricket shot...

2009-12-04T18:47:00.002+13:00

...is shouldering arms to a straight one. i mean come on guys. you are supposed to be the best of the best. can't you pick, in a split second, that it is going to clean you out? and anyway. shouldering arms is not in the spirit of the game. put your bat in front of it and block it out. take one for the team. especially when you can't make three figures.

and apparently not even dan could save us. has he lost some of his gloss? he's still hot so i think not.

with apologies to alan gregg

2009-12-03T21:48:00.006+13:00

as much as we all love wellington…currently the weather’s not so good. the wind has been cutting through me and it has definitely been raining more than it should. though, on the other hand, i'm not sure i'd be enjoying what's happening at the other end of the island. migraine inducing humidity.

yesterday I strolled along lambton quay with 6 12 and 13 year old boys. the suits and the briefcases were all there bustling along. we walked from te papa through manners mall (where they want to put buses, I wonder if the maccas renovations have this in mind). we went to the old cable car. I was telling the boys about how when I was younger we used to ride on the outside. some random uni student told us that his dad had told him that and I instantly felt ancient. and you know what? nowhere is very far. and. there is so much to do. after we had a look out over the city and went into the cable car museum we went back down and over to the museum of city and sea. we walked past all the cafes and bars (even starbucks which has foul coffee). and we also went into every skate shop along the way. it was an interesting day. timezone is nowhere near as interesting as when I was younger.

today, we went to bowling and lazer strike. and I won my game of lazer strike. out of 21 12 and 13 year olds. I didn’t remind them of it much. is it wrong to gloat? it didn’t even bother me that the 12 year old that won the first game (and who scored more than me) only had one arm (the other was in plaster). however, it did help that one of the boys in the opposition didn’t know how to play and was a very easy target. I must have killed him half a dozen times.

one random thunking..plus two tests

2009-11-27T21:01:00.004+13:00

am i the only one who hates labels? and i mean in both senses of the word. hate branding. plus...more literally...hate the things in the back of clothing. they annoy the fuck out of me. usually cut the bastards off. which also means that the washing instructions are removed cos the buggers put those on the back of the above...cunning.

here's the test (this is the hard question)...for which show are these the lyrics for the theme...?

It’s cold outside,
there’s no kind of atmosphere,
I’m all alone, more or less,
Let me fly, far away from here,
Fun, fun, fun in the sun, sun, sun.

I want to lie shipwrecked and comatose,
Drinking fresh mango juice,
Goldfish shoals nibbling at my toes,
Fun, fun, fun in the sun, sun, sun
Fun, fun, fun in the sun, sun, sun.

i hope i haven't missed too much cos it last screened (and here's the easy test) in MCMXCIX, and according to the credits i saw tonight the episode i saw was fillimed in MMIX...(and i know that because of bing, which is my new favourite search engine, that neither questions are hard..i challenge you to solve them the old fashioned way then trust you to be honest which is also horrifically old fashioned, i prefer traditional)

what's on top?

2009-11-25T20:40:00.003+13:00

just spent the evening schmoozing with the mayor. she's cool. i also did my first ever stint as a wait person. easy when there are only 30 people there. pleased that it has taken this long to do it.

tomorrow i'm involved in interviewing new employees. i know it's probably not going to be as exciting as it sounds but it'll be good experience. plus a day out of the classroom. my students are being shits so i'm looking forward to it.

when did peter fitzsimons switch from rugby player to author? i thought they were supposed to be fick boofheads...(well a certain wellington winger who hails from auckland certainly is...you have to turn him round at half time).

that's all for now.

chris knox can write some mighty fine words

2009-11-22T17:05:00.002+13:00

Hello my friend
It's morning, time to wake now
In body, in mind
Entwined will have to break now
But i need your flesh
Your warmth to stay beside me
Oh how i wish
You could be deep inside me
Show me your eyes
Your low most tender feeling
And i'll give you mine
Be truthful and revealing

And it's you that i love
And it's true that i love
And it's love not given lightly
But i knew that it's love
And it's you that i love
And it's more than what it might be

When we're alone
I cannot always face you
Maybe my mood
Won't let these arms embrace you
But that doesn't mean
My love's somehow diminished
Give me the time
To show our love's unfinished

And it's you that i love
And it's true that i love
And it's love not given lightly
But i know that it's love
And it's you that i love
And it's more than what it might be

And every word i say is true

What can i say?
The words destroy all meaning
There's only cliches
To get across this feeling
This is a love song
For John and Liesha’s mother
This isn't easy
I might not write another

And it's you that i love
And it's true that i love
And it's love not given lightly
But i knew that it's love
And it's you that i love
And it's more than what it might be

one can almost forgive him for selling out to a bread company. but it's hard being a muso in nz. and i believe this song brings fond memories for ex-pats.

stupid weather

2009-11-18T18:42:00.002+13:00

this morning it was fair persisting down. i was asked when will summer be here. i replied when it stops raining. it has now. but it's not yet summer. stupid weather.

i forgot...

2009-11-08T19:59:00.001+13:00

..what the hell was i going to say?...meh..can't of been that important. contributions welcome...

the innocence of youth

2009-11-03T21:08:00.003+13:00

what can you say...12 year olds think they know it all (well he'll be 13 on guy fawkes...which is appropriate seeing as he's a fiery red-head). and that's the thing. he hates his red hair. yet it marks him as distinctive. he needs to pull his head in...literally...cos the poor bugger is marked. not only does he have a crap name (starting with a j...seriously...what was in the water 13 years ago?) but he is 'that red-headed kid'. he does dumb things in the community and everyone knows who it is. i can only defend him so many times.

piss off beggars

2009-10-31T20:32:00.002+13:00

hallowe'en is a crap pagan festival. so far i have ignored three lots of trickle treaters (that's a 200% increase on last year) and that's what my students call it. they go out begging and can't even get the name correct. go away!

if it aint broke...

2009-10-25T15:02:00.004+13:00

...you really shouldn't try to fix it. at least they didn't sanitise the words which people are wont to do. i'm talking about the classic song convoy. someone re-did it and if you want to download it on to your ipod then that's the one you're stuck with. and it's just not the same. just like the wainui tip.

also. you know you're desperate when you resort to buying coffee from a petrol station. it's only one step up from the stuff mrs miggins used to serve, but at least it's not as dire as starbucks.

some dickhead tried to push in front of me in line just before. i asserted myself. he won't try to do that again. stupid man.

tomorrow is a public holiday. the last one before christmas. i'm not going to do any work tomorrow. i'm going to catch up on my reading. and non-academic texts too.

p.s. pig pen this here's the rubber duck and i'm about to put the hammer down...

it's vegemite...but not as we know it

2009-10-17T18:21:00.004+13:00

so they decided to bring out a new version of our favourite spread and for some stupid reason they decided to call it iSnack2.0. come on. who in their right mind is gonna buy that shit? so then after the protests they decided to call it cheesybite which is far more sensible. they couldn't call it cheesymite cos the rock had already commandeered that name. but those buggers decided to addict us to those 'limited edition' chips and then rip them out from under us. bastards.
and why would you add cheese to it when you can put the real stuff there yourself? vegemite is supposed to sit in your cupboard for ever and still be edible...i believe this new stuff expires after a few weeks...laziness...and just not cricket.

i had something else to say now...but it seems i have forgotten it...when i remember i will add it later as an edit. that will probably happen as soon as i log off from here.

quote of the day...

2009-10-13T19:01:00.000+13:00

miss, stop doing your nails and get back here...we've worked out the answer.

cheeky shits.

that was my holiday...

2009-10-10T20:21:00.003+13:00

i'm home now. what are my enduring memories?

singapore is flat, hot and has tonnes of tall buildings. it is not very green but it is trying to be. it has many different cultures there. there is a huge disparity between the haves and the have nots.

melaka (malacca to us english speakers) is interesting too. crowded and not as developed as where i live. hot, thought the sunburn is fading dammit. smelly, but i'm sure there are similar and worse smells elsewhere (but they soon pass...however the generator is currently eternal). lots of influences. and dirt cheap. 5 star hotel for 250 ringgit?(NZ$100)

most enduring memory? welcome to malaysia...here is my cock. when we first went exploring in melaka we went up this back street cos we could see a mosque dome there (i tried to insert the pic of it here but i don't know how to do that cos it hasn't appeared. i shall have to do some research)...anyway...she was taking pics and i was looking around. there was this dude on a scooter which seemed to be the predominant form of transport there cos there appeared be no road rules and no money and he was an interesting character. let me just say he appeared to be enjoying himself at our expense.
and i think i am a magnet for this kind of behaviour cos i saw it in LA as well. and on another note that is completely away from this entry. who is the idiot that invented over-write, and why do I keep hitting it, and how come I never remember how to turn the bastard off?

live long and prosper…until next time…

singapore is hot

2009-10-04T21:22:00.004+13:00

man it's hot here. and it's muggy. and the buildings are really tall. and beer is really expensive, well all alcohol is. consequently they don't have a booze culture like we do cos a cheap bottle of plonk costs $25. they had a bottle of cloudy bay on sale at a restaurant i was at last night for $96.

today i went to the beach. it was lovely there. we had a much cooler day temperature wise which was nice. there was all sorts of plastic floating past in the water which was lovely and brown. i still went in though...up to mid calf. just to feel what it was like. it wasn't as warm as i thought it might be. there were hundreds of ships moored off the beach where i was, just waiting to get into the port.

yesterday i went to changi to the war memoral. that was interesting. i was a little disappointed that none of the prison camp was still standing. seems that the policy here is stuff history, knock it all down so we can build more high rises. this island can fit into lake taupo yet 5 million people live on it. consequently there are tall buildings everywhere. it would be great to be a crane company owner here because they are everywhere. i also went to orchard road to see all the shops. i saw watches that were worth more than my house. they were vulgar by the way. went to raffles to have a beer ($20) and eat peanuts then throw them on the floor. i found that a little hard to do. had dinner at clark quay and saw several lady-boys. two were quite attractive, the third looked like a boy in a wig, and not a very good wig at that. i think you'd have to have several singapore slings inside you to even contemplate going there. speaking of singapore slings i had one of those...when in rome and all...and it was palatible (or is that palatable? i'm sure someone will tell me). also went across to pulau ubin and back. and also because it was mooncake festival a few of fiona's mates and their kids got together and we walked around the block carrying lanterns. fiona thought it was funny to get me a noisy lantern that when i turned it on would attract all the children. so i spent the time surrounded by under 6s.

tomorrow i'm off to malacca so i can collect another stamp in my passport.

no pics sorry. fiona took some so i may find the time and the expertise to load some later.

and don't believe what they say...singapore is just as filthy as the rest of the world.