strange day

i attended a funeral today, actually i sang in the choir. we did a fantastic job. i think the deceased would've been pleased. it was really nice singing with someone i last sang with 12 years ago. it was quite refreshing hearing his familiar voice in my ear.

however. before i got to the funeral a new student was placed in my class. he is very naughty. he's naughty because he's had a shit upbringing. now the behaviourists say we shouldn't blame their background (deficit thinking it's called) but it plays a part. he has been in the school approximately 2 weeks and my class is the third he has been placed in. apparently he thinks i'm 'nice' (but this is probably cos i've been nice to him, trying to build a rapport). but if he mentions it in public he's gonna ruin my street cred. so for today...so far so good. i had to leave after morning interval so he only had an hour and a half in my class and i didn't ask him to write anything. i now have three students with that name so that means two things. when i say that name sharply three people spring to attention and when i say that name nicely three people answer. it is very confusing. what i want to know is what was in the water 11-12 years ago to make this name so popular. personally i hate it. this may have something to do with the fact that almost every student i have met with this name is a complete shit (including my step-nephew).

and here's my segue. teachers can almost never find a name they like for their offspring. there are a few i would never call children. and the weird thing is they start with a j.

the next thing i missed out on is that one of my 11 year old year 7s brought bourbon to school. he is one of the boys mentioned above with the name that i have three of. i wasn't there to snap him with it.

and here's today's ironical moment (yes it's a word, again cos i said so). i had a resource teacher of learning and behaviour (RTLB) doing some observations on the third child with that name. he was absolutely fine despite me sitting new naughty student next to him. but bourbon-bringer was an absolute shit. he was playing up for the RTLB and performing. i have some very immature boys in my class this year. funnily enough the two main culprits' names start with that j letter. bloody j. my least favourite letter of the alphabet. no offense to good people whose names start with a j, like jesus for instance.

i also heard through the grapevine that new naughty boy got beaten up too. i picked a very interesting day to have off.

update on a student from last year. pretty sure i mentioned the students of mine that spent the day in the carpark in a previous blog. one of them came into our school on monday and pulled a gun on a teacher. it was a BB gun, but still. she's freaked out. and on another note. i have the half brother of the girl that spent the night in that carpark in my class this year. he's the type of student i really like. the likeable rogue. frustrates the hell out of me but there's something really endearing about them. i seem to always get them.

i get the 'good' students... apparently the deputy boss told a new teacher who was having difficulty with one of her students that it was a pity my class was full cos i'd sort him out. how bout that cred. seems my class isn't full cos they placed a new student with me. i'm up to 33. but that's cos i may be losing one next week...

we'll wait and see.

before the parade passes by....

yesterday i backed up and did security again. it was for the cuba st carnival. i enjoyed myself. i was assigned to the mainstage. there was a continuous stream of performers...most of them i was meh about. but the wellington international ukelele orchestra played and that's where (and when) the shit hit the fan.

i have some history with them...a couple of years ago they tried to set a record for the most ukes playing together so i have played with them...they rock!

back to my story...there must've been 20,000 at the ukelele orchestra event...and in their wisdom the company i was volunteering for put three women on the gate. now girls rock and we are tough...but the girls we had (including me) were not a match for the crowd. i radioed for back up with visions of me being stampeded to death going through my mind. some hot boys turned up and took control which was fine by me...but the stupid chick in charge growled at me. for fuck's sake she was not there being crushed by the crowd. i'm 5'7" and i'm not petite (but i weigh under 3 figures so i'm not a boombata either) and my judgement said call for help...stupid bitch...

the boys restored order after the call from the damsel in distress.

and here's my funny anecdote for the day...some old asian chick who spoke no english was trying to push her stolen shopping trolley with some minor purchases against the crowd and into the ensuing throng. she would not take no for an answer. so i put my foot under her wheel and she tried to run over it. some members of the crowd tried to egg her on. i yelled help to some strong looking brown boy next to me whose name i didn't know and he assisted me...we moved her aside and people could leave...i've concluded some people are idiots but i think i knew that already.

and here's my highlight. the german group whose name i forget were on the back of a bedford that either broke down or had no engine...i don't know which. but the sight of all those young brown boys pushing that thing stirred my loins...as wrong as that is i'm a red blooded girl with a penchant for brown boys..and girls...nice arses boys...in my opinion...

and on a minor note...top gear is being lambasted cos they put fake spyders in the ring for stunts..i don't care..they looked great and who would sacrifice spyders for thrills in this economic climate...get over it...

and swifts rule...they play great football..thanks top gear...i enjoyed you...

we need a break in the weather...

i really didn't want to be doing blogs about weather but i just find myself compelled to. it seems to be so random at the moment. today we received a gift from Australia. and it was torrential. i think my students were hoping there'd be more so there'd be flooding and they could go home. it's also been unseasonably cold at times. last weekend on that icky day (you know the one...the revolting romantic one...) i found myself wearing thermals it was so cold. then, the next day i ventured north of the bombay hills (top gear live...tell you in another blog if i remember) and it was relatively mild...pleasant even. though they had had the hottest day in 137 years the previous tuesday. my aunt said it was only 32 point something C, which i don't consider hot at all, but it was 100% humidity which would have made it horriffic (i know that spelling looks wrong...when i work out the correct spelling i'll fix it, if it needs it).

weather is ok now. no rain, still and calm. makes me wonder what's next. doesn't feel like earthquake weather. at least it wont be too wet for the rugby tonight and when the 'canes lose (c'mon wellington fans...you know how tough it is to support our boys) they'll have to find something else to blame.

and one more thing...did you notice i didn't start this post with the word so? i read back over my old posts. i can't believe how many i started with the word so. must be one of my things. i'm trying very hard to cut back.

hope you're using your apostrophes properly!

you can keep your pot...but i have to confiscate your water

i uttered this phrase many times today.

today i was a door bitch at the one love festival in hataitai. it is bob marley's birthday so there was a concert. many of the participants decided to get stoned in his honour. we were told at our briefing that we had to confiscate the following items...alcohol, red bull and water...now the alcohol is a no brainer cos they sell it there and make shit loads of profit...red bull were one of the sponsors so they preferred you bought it at the venue, after they had put their mark-up on it of course...water...there are a couple of other substances it could be so if your water bottle was opened you couldn't bring it in...there were questions from some, but in the end they complied and threw it out. only one guy i saw didn't..so i think one can safely assume that it wasn't water.

speaking of marijuana...i was disappointed to only come across two bongs amongst the thousands of bags i searched...but there were quite a few people who looked twitchy when i was digging around in their bags...they visibly relaxed when i told them i was only after their alcohol, red bull and water. even the police officers were being tolerant and i was told they were just asking people to throw out their buds...

the other dude (hot and brown...a nice way to spend a day, oh..he was lovely too, very polite...kept calling everyone miss..one old hag objected...i think she was a feminist lesbian..not very responsive to a bit of chocolate magic, but i digress...) working my table confiscated some alcohol and he put it in a chilly bin (that's an esky to all you aussies out there). under the table. when he noticed it missing he aksed me if i had seen it. i hadn't. he went searching for it and found it a bit later...you can probably guess how he found it...some bastard stole our hard earned, confiscated stash.

one last humerous (well it was at the time, and i thought it humerous and since it's my blog my opinion is the only one that counts) anecdote. some chick brought this bag in. she said it wasn't hers. so i had to say the line...did you pack your bags yourself?...turns out she hadn't. a huge thermos was discovered in her bag that contained something alcoholic. seeing as it wasn't hers she felt she couldn't make the decision to throw it out. she also informed us she had made a resolution to not drink. i think she did very well. she consumed at least half of it. we had also been told we couldn't admit people who were intoxicated so she stopped once she had a buzz on. in hataitai tomorrow there is a patch of grass that will wake up tomorrow with a hangover.

i had a pretty good day. it wasn't too hot. i only got a little sunburned. i only got 'hi missed' once. i met heaps of friendly, understanding people, only one of whom needed a serious shower. i saw every shade of dreadlock you can imagine. some people had really gone to a lot of trouble to pack some really nice stuff in their chilly bins (i told some people i had to confiscate their chocolate and they believed me, i wish i really could've). and as an extra special bonus...the music wasn't too loud cos i was quite a distance away.

my feet hurt and i broke five nails...the lesson today is...if you're going to be security somewhere where you may have to do bag searches...cut your nails. and one other thing...take some hand sanitiser if you don't like being dirty. some people's bags are really filthy...especially at the bottom where they tend to stash their piss...

and finally...happy waitangi day!