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Friday, February 6, 2009

you can keep your pot...but i have to confiscate your water

i uttered this phrase many times today.

today i was a door bitch at the one love festival in hataitai. it is bob marley's birthday so there was a concert. many of the participants decided to get stoned in his honour. we were told at our briefing that we had to confiscate the following items...alcohol, red bull and water...now the alcohol is a no brainer cos they sell it there and make shit loads of profit...red bull were one of the sponsors so they preferred you bought it at the venue, after they had put their mark-up on it of course...water...there are a couple of other substances it could be so if your water bottle was opened you couldn't bring it in...there were questions from some, but in the end they complied and threw it out. only one guy i saw didn't..so i think one can safely assume that it wasn't water.

speaking of marijuana...i was disappointed to only come across two bongs amongst the thousands of bags i searched...but there were quite a few people who looked twitchy when i was digging around in their bags...they visibly relaxed when i told them i was only after their alcohol, red bull and water. even the police officers were being tolerant and i was told they were just asking people to throw out their buds...

the other dude (hot and brown...a nice way to spend a day, oh..he was lovely too, very polite...kept calling everyone miss..one old hag objected...i think she was a feminist lesbian..not very responsive to a bit of chocolate magic, but i digress...) working my table confiscated some alcohol and he put it in a chilly bin (that's an esky to all you aussies out there). under the table. when he noticed it missing he aksed me if i had seen it. i hadn't. he went searching for it and found it a bit later...you can probably guess how he found it...some bastard stole our hard earned, confiscated stash.

one last humerous (well it was at the time, and i thought it humerous and since it's my blog my opinion is the only one that counts) anecdote. some chick brought this bag in. she said it wasn't hers. so i had to say the line...did you pack your bags yourself?...turns out she hadn't. a huge thermos was discovered in her bag that contained something alcoholic. seeing as it wasn't hers she felt she couldn't make the decision to throw it out. she also informed us she had made a resolution to not drink. i think she did very well. she consumed at least half of it. we had also been told we couldn't admit people who were intoxicated so she stopped once she had a buzz on. in hataitai tomorrow there is a patch of grass that will wake up tomorrow with a hangover.

i had a pretty good day. it wasn't too hot. i only got a little sunburned. i only got 'hi missed' once. i met heaps of friendly, understanding people, only one of whom needed a serious shower. i saw every shade of dreadlock you can imagine. some people had really gone to a lot of trouble to pack some really nice stuff in their chilly bins (i told some people i had to confiscate their chocolate and they believed me, i wish i really could've). and as an extra special bonus...the music wasn't too loud cos i was quite a distance away.

my feet hurt and i broke five nails...the lesson today is...if you're going to be security somewhere where you may have to do bag searches...cut your nails. and one other thing...take some hand sanitiser if you don't like being dirty. some people's bags are really filthy...especially at the bottom where they tend to stash their piss...

and finally...happy waitangi day!

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