i love messing with the heads of stupid people

apologies to the genuinely stupid people out there...i'm sure it's not completely your fault

last night in my sleep i wrote a deeply profound blog entry. it was amazing (i'm sure). i think it was about the stupid person who came to my door the other day. she was from mercury energy. every now and then they cold call to get new business. she started the spiel...we're in your area to check you're on the best deal yada yada yada. she then asked me 'do you know which energy company you're with?' to which i replied 'yes i do know which energy company i'm with.' she looked a bit puzzled and stated a bit more of the spiel. then she asked me again 'do you know which energy company you're with?' to which i replied, again, 'yes i do know which energy company i'm with.' she kind of giggled nervously. i then decided to put her out of her misery/stupidity and said i was perfectly happy with my energy company thanks. i think she thought i was reluctant to tell her but really she was asking the wrong question. the script writer didn't do a very good job.
silly girl.

(1636)

another year over...

...thanks john lennon.
i may find some time at some stage to write something deeply profound, or not. though i did like my friend's comment about me wanting to see a movie...the cat in the hat? she asked...well to be fair it is a cat and he wears a hat, but the movie is puss in boots. going to see it later this afternoon...and in 3D. it's my first full length feature in 3D.hope i don't leave with a headache.

(1600)

half a day to go

...but that's not counting the half day on friday that the boss demands of us...

(1591)

blogging from school....

...ooh, naughty!

(1589)

2 1/2 days to go

and still counting...

(1585)

4 1/2 days to go

and counting

(1581)

just gotta love 'em

went to a union gathering last night and learned an interesting spin-off about national's (no it's not a typing error..there's nothing 'national' about them) standards. we think we have it hard at a mid-decile school (it's 4). we will struggle to get all our students up to standard no matter how much we work our arses off. but at two high decile schools represented in the room they have had parents request their children be kept back a year because they aren't 'meeting the standard'. one school had 600 students and 13 lots of parents have made that request. the other has had 6 parents...this is from a very very wealthy and educated area in wellington. the principal of that school said that the first school was twice her size so that was comparable. that is scary. i (and some of the others in the room) were floored. maybe it isn't so rosy in decile 10 land after all.

(1556)

my team lost

and i don't mean the national cricket side (aka the slack craps) or the sevens team or the fast ferns (that's the 20/20 version of netball i think but i haven't managed to keep up with that...i'm hoping my netball fiend blogger friend will update me on that).

RIP (fuck off) goff. you did the best you could in the face of a smarmy slimy git who could work a crowd and a land full of ignorant morons and 'tards (apart from the intelligent 24% of you). i remember protesting against you in the early 90s...and i mean early, 1990. that was when you had the requisite 'stache and those big ass wire frames that were de rigeur at the time. you made the best of what you had. i forgave you so you must have done something ok.

i suggested, rather rashly in hindsight, that my friends and i stage a ritual burning of all things blue. but then i realised i'd have to burn my car. i quite like my car. it's a faux holden which i like and holden is red so i think my car is not in fact blue as it appears but red (and that's the truth).

so, in conclusion, thanks to all you morons and 'tards who have made it really hard for me to do my job, the one job i have wanted to do since i was 5. i seriously hope that the information i have been given is wrong. it hasn't ever been in the past but maybe this one time it may be.

(1517)

i had a chat with my mate trev today

that's mr mallard to the rest of you plebs. it was mentioned that the current 8 week term has been horrific. he said to me that it was his fault. i said to him please do not do that again. to which he replied it will not happen again for a long time and why not? then i said because it's been a hard term. he said is that because it's been short? i said that's part of it. the children have been shits. i left him to ponder that.

(1497)

it's been a while

since last time we won the rugby world cup. a nail-biter of a final that at times i couldn't watch.

end-of-termitis has well and truly set in, and that's just from me. some of the students are climbing the walls. thought i had another drug-bust today but the evidence had disappeared by the time i got to it. 4 weeks to go. it cannot go soon enough. i'm sick of telling people that this second half year has been long and tiring and having them say we had 11 week terms in the past. especially people who should know better and just keep dumping more and more paperwork on us.

the sonny bill williams effect

this is when something decidedly average (ie sonny bill williams) being made to look incredibly talented and good at something (ie rugby) by the company that they are keeping (ie japan or tonga).

so, in summary, when sonny bill williams plays against a rugby team such as japan or tonga he actually looks like he can play the game quite well...one might even say at an above average level. however, when he is up against a much better quality team such as australia he looks decidedly average.

an example of the sonny bill williams effect was how good france looked in their quarter final against england.

and just in case you're wondering, it's now on the internet so it must be true.

(1387)

quarter finals time

it's quarter finals time (as my title says). i'm a bit excited now. i have enjoyed the round robin games. i'm ok with us getting an opposition that ...shall we say... we may (read that should) beat this time round. though i'm thinking if we got the french this time round we'd probably beat them too.

dc has given us an excuse if we lose. he has strained his willy (well that's what we call it in my family) and judging by the way he was writhing around on the ground it pained him. personally i don't see the big deal (:P).

so at the risk of being made a fool, and that's something that happens almost daily, my picks are:
wales over ireland, france over england, us over argentina. the last semi i'm finding hard to pick. and it's all the irish team's fault. they beat the aussies and threw the whole draw into chaos. i want the aussies to win. i think we have a better chance of beating them. but i think south africa will win.

i also see that i am not alone in my conspiracy theory that, in fact, robbie 'dingo' deans is on the all black's payroll and is deliberately training the aussies so they are shite.

and one more conspiracy theory. israel dagg, richard kahui and zac guildford all out 'injured' for the quarter final. one that we should win in a canter if one was going by the form book (but as we all know, for the all blacks the rugby world cup is a vicious and unsatisfying beast). all this so mils can have his 100th test? and so that SBW gets a sympathy game? he will not get a start for the important games. despite all his 'skill' the better teams make him look very, very average. he looks superb against teams that are the next tier down (such as tonga and japan etc.)

for nostalgia's sake i'm hoping for an all black's france final. but i think i would equally enjoy an all blacks wales one. in another two and a bit weeks all will be revealed.

(1364)

they was robbed

what an awesome game the SA wales one was. in the beginning i was cheering for south africa (being a fellow down under team and on a more shallower note wearing green...my second favourite colour) but by the end the leeks had it. and afterwards i saw they was robbed. but. as an armchair rugby expert (in my day girls weren't allowed to play rugby...and no...i'm not that old) there was one fundamental error. when you get the ball you must run forwards. towards the try line. they tended to run sideways. so while they deserved to win they probably never would have achieved it.

and on another green note. go the irish. thank you for beating robbie (and the strayans). now i'm worried. i think the japies will win (and i never said that!).
(1339)

i love free stuff

tonight i get to go to a world cup game. for free. it should be a good game. south africa vs. wales.
no SBW in sight.

(1273)

woo hoo

RWC bring it on...so i don't have to hear about sonny bill williams ever again...he's a cock.

and a disclaimer...the next few blogs may contain rugby related content, if i can be inspired. you have been warned.

(1267)

they made a liar of me

so last night the ABs lost their second game in a row. and they deserved it. for both games they played like shit. in the lead up to all previous world cups they have won everything in sight. this time they are losing. i'm hoping that's a good omen. the cup starts on sept 9th. i'm going to watch it. i know it's all sellout commercial claptrap but i like rugby.

(1252)

ABs did OK last night

after going up 10 nil in the first ten minutes i knew we had it in the bag. hope it lasts.

1220

yay southland

congratulations on winning the shield back in the first challenge of the year.

two people have told me now that snow is expected tomorrow...don't let me down snow gods.

1191

at the risk of incurring the wrath of mothers out there...

victoria beckham is due to 'give birth' this weekend with an elective caesarean cos she's 'too posh to push'. i'm ok with caesarians for valid medical reasons...i have no issues with that. my issue is she has elected to have a caesarian from the birth of child number one and i know that all subsequent caesarains have medical risks. but my issue is the term 'giving birth' which to me implies something active.

that's all for now.

(1126)

i'm with michael laws...

...despite him having one of the worse cases of small man's disease i've ever seen.

there must be a reason why the penguin left its natural habitat. do we really have the right to lock it in a 'cell' and be all voyeuristic about watching it? i know it's interesting (for about 10 minutes). all it does is preen, nod its head, shake its flippers, stand and make brown stuff come out of itself. i know it's a bit anthropomorphic of me but i think we should just leave it alone cos i think it's not nice to lock it up.

(sits back and waits for the indignant replies).

1109

yeah so

i don't have so much to say but i'm still here. i have a post about the gym brewing but i: a. can't be arsed writing it at the moment and b. think it may identify specific people (not that i care that much).
the people that determine term lengths should realise that 11 weeks in winter is far too long. today i had a very clayton's week 9 friday. we have two weeks to go. i'm exhausted and don't give a shit. just how much busy work can i squeeze in?
1091

scariness

on monday we have ERO...at the risk of the wrath of the boss...meh...WYSIWYG. i'd like my life back please.

i'm reading robert muchamore as recommended by my aunt. i'm loving him...as are my nephews and sister in law and four of my students...yay for reading!

and i'm back

which makes me wonder...i've been without the internet at home for three weeks. in that time i did not die, i did not lose any friends, i read some books. so do we really need it?...there are some learning things i'll hook up with...but in the 'weekend'.

and another thing...nonu and hore get sacked...meh. nonu is a cock...hore is honest...opinions are divided about the hammer...

hands up if you feel ripped off

it'd be lovely to have anzac day as a holiday...just like our cuzzy bros in aussie (i know i know...i am technically 'on holiday' but just so you know, i am going in to work tomorrow before a combat class at 12.15).

names

they're very important. they define you.

i have this theory (and i know i'm not alone) that if you give your child a crap (ie made up or non-standard) name then that means trouble. there are also names that seem to routinely crop up as belonging to children who are trouble. and i've discovered this year that there is a name that rhymes with my least favourite boy's name that also applies to a child who is hard work. there are certain professions that find it a challenge to name their children cos there are lots of names that remind you of children.

the other thing is spelling of names when a spelling pattern is misused. eg. cayenne is not pronounced cheyenne and shannia is not pronounced shania (no matter what you say).

(p.s. there are some paragraphs in here but for some reason they aren't coming out as such...i don't know)
(p.p.s. i came back and edited (editted?...just doesn't look right and as a chinese speller that's what i go by) them back in)

cricket 80s stylez (with name drop alert too)

the recent fund raising match for christchurch at the basin has stirred some memories.

once upon a time we could actually play cricket. chats was there…still trim and taught at 60 and with that unmistakable action.

edgar opened. what a pretty cricketer to watch. very much underrated. he was at the other end for THAT delivery (and as a side note, i never noticed he had such hairy forearms) and he looks like a librarian (no offense to librarians).

andrew jones did well too. he was also underrated. he was martin crowe’s foil. he was at the other end for the record partnership. he scored 186, i think, when crowe scored his 299. upon crowe’s dismissal he (hogan that is, not jonesy - not the most interesting of nicknames i must say) took to a coke machine (which probably deserved it). i was there. he also took out the knob end of the picket fence.

roger twose has beefed up a little, but not to stockley’s florid proportions. or even geoff allot who looks like he has spent his entire retirement eating pies. macca (the cricket one) also needs to watch out. he’s beefing up too. but back to roger. what a beautiful player to watch. what grace and poise.

i enjoyed seeing paddles bowl again. i was surprised he did. i’d heard he was only there to rattle a bucket. he held the world record for the number of wickets once. he took 9 wickets in a match and caught the tenth. he still has it. (i’ve met him too).

loved listening to adam parore this morning saying that he accidentally stumped andrew jones and that jonesy was pissed off. i was left wondering why the ‘real’ game is so uptight. imagine if we had a she’ll be right attitude. it would be so much more fun.

that game was a testament to fun-ness. it was a great game. how amazing a sporting talent is tana? in trying to avoid a ball he takes a ripper of a catch. he’s never bowled before but takes a wicket. is there anything sports-wise that man cannot do? i’ve met him. i’ve played golf against him (yes i have played 3 rounds of golf, very badly). two impressions prevail. he’s shorter than I expected and there is not one ounce of fat on him.

i enjoyed that game. i’m also pleased that my cricket mad nephew can catch a glimpse of what we used to be. today i heard the black caps (stupid name that!) described as almost minnows. i have to agree.

once we were awesome.

so much ado about nothing

sorry about misquoting wills (shakespeare, not windsor) but the recent tsunami alert amounted to nothing. i unpacked my bag.

i think i'm into the boring and meh and overwhelming (all at once) stage of term. plus the dreaded ERO (dun dun dun). we've been hearing for a wee while now (ie at least 18 months) that if we get a bad review it's our fault (not the boss's). ok. whatever. and before you all ask, there are no jobs.

plus i'm not sure how to fully use all the expensive (as we're constantly reminded) new equipment we've had installed. so that's a good enough reason to stay. and i'm pleading the 5th and deleting this if it gets out (but i'm sure there's a geek out there who will resurrect it...once it's been published it's there forever...)

i'm pushing publish...repercussions be damned!

p.s. this post is dedicated to the bracket.

so who pissed off the quake gods?

now japan has an 8.9...that is a seriously HUGE quake. and the tsunami that followed, while tragic and devastating, was just spellbinding to watch. do we applaud or curse instant pictures? the scientist in me (and in geologists judging by what they were saying) is greatful that we can study this stuff and understand it more. but you still have to think that you are watching people being swept to their death. and their houses being swept away.

something just fleetingly crossed through my mind...and i've forgotten it. if it was important i'll remember it and add it in. and the remembering will possibly happen just as i post this. or it won't.

i may have cleared my inbox

my schoolbag is no longer filled with papers i need to mark. that is a HUGE breakthrough. it means i have ascended the mountain of paper that we are required to traverse.

we now have the six week check to make sure that all the boxes are ticked. a bit like anne tolley, the current minister for education, and her 'national standards'. we all have to comply with the dreaded 'six week check'. this is where we prove our paperwork is all up to date. a bit more pressure seeing as this year we have ERO (very scary apparently...meh...i know i'm a good teacher so i'm not scared. i can teach dyslexics to read...i'm THAT good).

so...the link with anne tolley...and there is one though i am drawing the long bow a bit...she has said all schools need to do national standards, even though she said 50% of schools are failing and that's why we all need to do them. ERO has a five year cycle for schools who are performing well. the boss wants us to get on that. i suggested to her that the teachers she knows are 'doing their job' should go on to a similar thing. where we (and yes i mean me) go on to a two or three year cycle where we don't get the six week check...cos we can be trusted. it didn't fly.

and on another note. anne tolley has been very quiet about national standards recently...i'm hoping she's ignoring them so they'll all go away.

and on other non school related news. there was no one in christchurch cathedral when the quake hit. which is great. that means the 22 dead didn't eventuate. i want to know where they got that number from. the moon guy, who i think is called ring, is making a lot of people scared. no one can predict earthquakes and if you're so worried about the 20th of march then go hunker down somewhere. this has not been helped by the two recent quakes in wellington (a 4.5 and a 4.7). we get 3 or 4 of them a year according to the scientists. and as a scientist i side with them. the recent christchurch quakes were a 1 in 15,000 year occurrence (the 7.1). wellington's 'big one' is a 1 in 700 year occurrence and we are halfway through that cycle...i'm not running for the hills. i have water and food so i'll be ok. but odds are i'll be at school when the biggie happens. if that's the case then i'm in some serious shit...it's a big hill i have to walk over to get home, that's if it survives the tsunami (my home, not the hill, i'm in the 'red zone').

one week later

155 confirmed dead and 240 predicted...not as many as napier 1931. i had an inservice course today and i was a bit annoyed i couldn't be with my class for the two minutes silence. i was in a cafe at 12.51 pm today and the people next to me just kept on talking...i wanted to jump up and talk to them about being respectful...but i didn't cos that would have been undignified and disrespectful...besides, i don't think ignorant people deserve my time...

the earth shakes

nearly six months ago there was an earthquake. it struck at 4 ish am. in another island i felt it. it was 7.1. while it was a shock it happened (and 7.1 is a beauty), it was a new fault and never meant to happen where it did (as you can see by the blase-ness and only passing mention of my post), we were all thankful there was only damage to buildings which are replacable and no loss of life apart from a lemur.

flash forward to 22/02/11 at 12.51 pm. a 6.3. in the same city. smaller but shallower and closer. 113 dead and counting. 228 missing presumed dead. the greatest tragedy on nz soil since napier 1931 (ironically at about this time).

my people are safe (my uncle and the people i know and the family of the people i know). three of the guys who were working on the organ in the durham st methodist church damaged in the sept 4 quake (2 days after my birthday so that's why i remember it) also worked on the organ in my church when someone set fire to it. they didn't survive the quake. i did not know them. i knew of them in passing. but i feel for their people. my ex vicar's church is gone. new zealand is such a village (six degrees of separation be damned...down here it's two) that everybody knows somebody who was affected by this thing.

christchurch was not meant to get this. wellington was...and the most endearing and poignant image i see (for me) is of the cathedral. it is a beautiful building. but is just a building.

i said to my students yesterday that the christchurch they know is not the christchurch that their children will know. that got me too.

here are some pics that i found while trawling through trademe. my favourite (for wont of a better word) is #39. but #40 and #43 get me too...

christchurch. our thoughts are with you. there but for the grace of god go the people of wellington. we will learn from you and we mourn your people. all my people are safe...i hate being helpless but you will be back...

OMG...

...do not mess with whaleoil...

and your life is not secret anymore...beware of the internet.

go the fox!

i like this story...

happy new year!

i've covered a lot of kilometres so far this year... (well, since christmas day)

home to wanganui (195 km)
wanganui to marton (38km)
marton to rotorua (296 km)
rotorua to mount maunganui and back (152 km)
rotorua to auckland (253 km)
auckland to marton (501 km)
marton to home (160 km)
1,595 km in fact.

that's a lot of time sitting down...no wonder my bum is sore!