things that make me go grrrr

apart from text speak, are the mispronounciation of words (and please note, all mispronounciations have been deliberately spelled phonetically)

asept (and its relative-aseptible) and if you can tell me what a sept is then more power to you!,

clision (as heard on three news yesterday),

pleece,

appreeseeate (that neighbours favourite),

yoggit,

orf,

preform,

(new edited entry...) harrissment

and the latest i heard on an advertisement (which is possibly why I don’t watch them) gl**ware (i don’t want to slip into product placement here) apparently has a texted surface.

this list is by no means exhaustive. feel free to add your own words.

p.s. sheldon rocks!

here's a novel thought

the surefire way to beat the christmas bulge is to not eat all that shit in the first place. it's completely unneccessary.

two entries in one day...how prolific

and this isn't even the other entry i was telling you about. i should stop watching tv cos it makes me think way too much...

anyway...

i remember when it first came out and i saw it at the movies. i know i’m showing my age but i'm proud to remember this one…ferris bueller’s day off…a pivotal moment in one’s adolescence. and a fantastic movie…charlie sheen really is very hot…

secondly…i really like this song. originally by blue oyster cult (ooh, cults are bad!) and then covered by the muttonbirds for peter jackson’s flick the frighteners…another fillim I quite like. but the muttonbirds’s (muttonbirds’…no ruling on that use of apostrophe thanks max cryer) version is down the octave so while it is still a great song…it’s just not right…
anyway…here are the words (capitals not mine…! [:P], and it looks way better when centred...don't ask me why...)

All our times have come
Here but now they're gone
Seasons don't fear the reaper
Nor do the wind, the sun or the rain..we can be like they are
Come on baby...don't fear the reaper
Baby take my hand...don't fear the reaper
We'll be able to fly...don't fear the reaper
Baby I'm your man...

Valentine is done
Here but now they're gone
Romeo and Juliet
Are together in eternity...Romeo and Juliet
40,000 men and women everyday...Like Romeo and Juliet
40,000 men and women everyday...Redefine happiness
Another 40,000 coming everyday...We can be like they are
Come on baby...don't fear the reaper
Baby take my hand...don't fear the reaper
We'll be able to fly...don't fear the reaper
Baby I'm your man...

Love of two is one
Here but now they're gone
Came the last night of sadness
And it was clear she couldn't go on
Then the door was open and the wind appeared
The candles blew then disappeared
The curtains flew then he appeared...saying don't be afraid
Come on baby...and she had no fear
And she ran to him...then they started to fly
They looked backward and said goodbye...she had become like they are
She had taken his hand...she had become like they are
Come on baby...don't fear the reaper

don't ask me to explain those lyrics cos i don't understand them...and i'm pretty sure they don't...just enjoy it...

p.s. note how i excelled on the links tonight...?!

p.p.s...they mentioned wayne mason from the fourmyular (nice play on numbers there), who was from upper hutt, in the wiki entry. i have actually met him. in the staffroom at school. and i told him i preferred the muttonbirds' version of nature which has been voted nz's best ever song and was composed at the blockhouse (and if wiki says it is so then it must exist...despite me having seen it with my own eyes, and my brother can vouch for it) just up the road from my place. he was not amused...(nature is a very excellent song...)

p.p.p.s....where were we before wiki?

four seasons in one day

can’t believe I’m talking about the weather yet again.

today’s extravaganza. cloudy with a threat of rain. an overcast humidity inducing blanket. blue sky and very hot (for wellington and me that is). no drawn curtains at 4.30 pm like the last two days (due to the lack of light). an open door which facilitated the entry of my most hated insectivoids…the flies…and now I think I can smell rain.

a study in seasons…beat that!

i do have another entry brewing...i know you're waiting with baited breath...

the latest buzzword

regifting. i regift. you have been warned. the term was maybe invented (haven't done my research so who knows) in a seinfeld episode (as cited by three news tonight). however i will not be regifting from the presents i received from friends and family this year. but i may regift from the students...in fact i already have, but shhh...don't tell!

what I want to know is...

...on masterchef whatever version, they meticulously prepare one dish. they spend ages making it look 3 michelin stars pretty. so how does that translate into ordinary restaurant food? a regular chef surely doesn’t have all that time to titivate.

and what is it with the whole celebrity chef genre? you are mega famous cos you can cook a bit? jamie has an unfortunate lisp. gordon is a rude cheating bastard in desperate need of botox (but i'd not kick him out if you know what i mean...). michel has a white sauce named after him. julia was really tall. i’ve heard someone remark that they think jamie's tongue is way too big for his mouth. but can the bugger cook? can all of them cook? that’s what I want to know. i cooked a mean roast today. how does his compare? oh and yes...you did read correctly, i cooked. but it was cheating cos a roast is really easy.

and thanks for the timtams santa. how did you know my achilles heel? i got my favourites (schwartzwalde) plus a new one which i know i will enjoy (it has no caramel and has chocolate mousse so must be good). i’m now quite glad i did that hard workout yesterday cos now i can eat the timtams guilt-free. timtams were made by the devil!

and by the way…apparently this is post number 100. make of it what you will.

and cos i'm in a weird and wonderful mood (blame the date) here is a great movie quote...no points for knowing the movie... 'can you move the camira? i need to get the torana out so i can move the commodore...' ahh those were the days (along with metal slides...)

note for next time

when ang says she is going to take it easy for christmas eve...this is untrue. even terry (phwoar) had to leave mid way for a cup of tea and a lie down. he came back though so it was all right. it was one of the hardest combat classes i've done for a while.

christmas hasn't arrived for me yet cos i haven't heard from snoopy. and i don't think i will now since i don't plan on listening to the radio again today. oh well, there's still tomorrow...

have they no respect?

this is further to the auschwitz musings...which is weird cos i have no holocaust connections except that i have been to dachau and the majority of the people who died there were from krakow which is where my family is from...

anyhoo...i don't care how valuable the sign is, you don't thief off with it.

i'm pleased it's been recovered...although desecrated.

i want...

...a t shirt what says...'resistance is futile, you will be assimilated'

make it so

it's a decision maurice...but not as we know it

first of all...he is way shorter IRL...as they all are. and i know that cos i saw him at the airport. along with andrew hore (who is shorter than i thought) and paula bennett (who was on my flight accompanied by a very hot brown boy).

secondly...the hardest decision he has made in 20 years of politics? keep the H, drop the H…i don't care. i don't want to piss anyone off...especially not you ken mair, mr rent a protester. and according to a 'reliable source' w(h)anganui used to be called petre (pronounced peter).

people in the media are now starting to do their count down to the new decade. we all know the new decade doesn’t begin til 2011 cos the new millennium didn’t start til 2001…was I alone in celebrating the new millennium on new year’s 2000/01?...i bet I was.

i've been watching the news. not sure if that's a good idea but i do have some comments to be made. i love rugby. those who know me know that. good on you gareth thomas. there is nothing wrong with being gay and a rugby player. shame you didn't come out while playing. plus, the ink on your elbow is pretty cool.

i've been to dachau. auschwitz is on my list. hope they catch the bastards who stole the sign.

and speaking of signs...the joseph/mary one outside st matthew's in the city? make of it what you will. not putting a link here. you either a) know about it, b) don't know about it, c) will research it yourself, d) don't know and don't care, e) all of the above, f) none of the above, g) another option i haven't thought of...over to you.

next thing...still watching the news btw...am i the only one on the planet who does not want to see avatar? please let there be others.

2 1/2 days to go

and they will crawl...

on a lighter note i ate the first strawberry of this year's harvest this morning. not bad for plants that are 4 years old and that i neglect.

check out the smart-ass

i'm betwixt and between. how can you like the person and yet hate his politics? i kinda like donkey. his education minister is an imbicile. and that grin is deeply smarmy. surely he should be a better judge of character. and as such he would earn my respect. i've commented on his excent so maybe that is the deal breaker. not sure.

i thought i'd made up a new word

until i employed my new favourite search engine. it appears that someone else invented the word zomedy. i also like that the word portmanteau is used. it's kinda a cool word. i may go see zombieland. the indiscriminate slaughtering of zombies by woody harrelson appeals. i've also heard that there is a very interesting cameo. and bill murray is in it...he is the master of dryness. and dry humour appeals. it is deeply funny.

oh...and by the way...black caps suck...still...i may have to become a football fan. at least the only way for a supporter of the all whites is up!

and last but not least for today. for all you people from the netherlands (as well as aruba, suriname, netherlands antilles and belgium) ...Gelukkig sinterklaas dag...

RIP junior. i miss you.

my least favourite cricket shot...

...is shouldering arms to a straight one. i mean come on guys. you are supposed to be the best of the best. can't you pick, in a split second, that it is going to clean you out? and anyway. shouldering arms is not in the spirit of the game. put your bat in front of it and block it out. take one for the team. especially when you can't make three figures.

and apparently not even dan could save us. has he lost some of his gloss? he's still hot so i think not.

with apologies to alan gregg

as much as we all love wellington…currently the weather’s not so good. the wind has been cutting through me and it has definitely been raining more than it should. though, on the other hand, i'm not sure i'd be enjoying what's happening at the other end of the island. migraine inducing humidity.

yesterday I strolled along lambton quay with 6 12 and 13 year old boys. the suits and the briefcases were all there bustling along. we walked from te papa through manners mall (where they want to put buses, I wonder if the maccas renovations have this in mind). we went to the old cable car. I was telling the boys about how when I was younger we used to ride on the outside. some random uni student told us that his dad had told him that and I instantly felt ancient. and you know what? nowhere is very far. and. there is so much to do. after we had a look out over the city and went into the cable car museum we went back down and over to the museum of city and sea. we walked past all the cafes and bars (even starbucks which has foul coffee). and we also went into every skate shop along the way. it was an interesting day. timezone is nowhere near as interesting as when I was younger.

today, we went to bowling and lazer strike. and I won my game of lazer strike. out of 21 12 and 13 year olds. I didn’t remind them of it much. is it wrong to gloat? it didn’t even bother me that the 12 year old that won the first game (and who scored more than me) only had one arm (the other was in plaster). however, it did help that one of the boys in the opposition didn’t know how to play and was a very easy target. I must have killed him half a dozen times.

one random thunking..plus two tests

am i the only one who hates labels? and i mean in both senses of the word. hate branding. plus...more literally...hate the things in the back of clothing. they annoy the fuck out of me. usually cut the bastards off. which also means that the washing instructions are removed cos the buggers put those on the back of the above...cunning.

here's the test (this is the hard question)...for which show are these the lyrics for the theme...?

It’s cold outside,
there’s no kind of atmosphere,
I’m all alone, more or less,
Let me fly, far away from here,
Fun, fun, fun in the sun, sun, sun.

I want to lie shipwrecked and comatose,
Drinking fresh mango juice,
Goldfish shoals nibbling at my toes,
Fun, fun, fun in the sun, sun, sun
Fun, fun, fun in the sun, sun, sun.

i hope i haven't missed too much cos it last screened (and here's the easy test) in MCMXCIX, and according to the credits i saw tonight the episode i saw was fillimed in MMIX...(and i know that because of bing, which is my new favourite search engine, that neither questions are hard..i challenge you to solve them the old fashioned way then trust you to be honest which is also horrifically old fashioned, i prefer traditional)

what's on top?

just spent the evening schmoozing with the mayor. she's cool. i also did my first ever stint as a wait person. easy when there are only 30 people there. pleased that it has taken this long to do it.

tomorrow i'm involved in interviewing new employees. i know it's probably not going to be as exciting as it sounds but it'll be good experience. plus a day out of the classroom. my students are being shits so i'm looking forward to it.

when did peter fitzsimons switch from rugby player to author? i thought they were supposed to be fick boofheads...(well a certain wellington winger who hails from auckland certainly is...you have to turn him round at half time).

that's all for now.

chris knox can write some mighty fine words

Hello my friend
It's morning, time to wake now
In body, in mind
Entwined will have to break now
But i need your flesh
Your warmth to stay beside me
Oh how i wish
You could be deep inside me
Show me your eyes
Your low most tender feeling
And i'll give you mine
Be truthful and revealing

And it's you that i love
And it's true that i love
And it's love not given lightly
But i knew that it's love
And it's you that i love
And it's more than what it might be

When we're alone
I cannot always face you
Maybe my mood
Won't let these arms embrace you
But that doesn't mean
My love's somehow diminished
Give me the time
To show our love's unfinished

And it's you that i love
And it's true that i love
And it's love not given lightly
But i know that it's love
And it's you that i love
And it's more than what it might be

And every word i say is true

What can i say?
The words destroy all meaning
There's only cliches
To get across this feeling
This is a love song
For John and Liesha’s mother
This isn't easy
I might not write another

And it's you that i love
And it's true that i love
And it's love not given lightly
But i knew that it's love
And it's you that i love
And it's more than what it might be

one can almost forgive him for selling out to a bread company. but it's hard being a muso in nz. and i believe this song brings fond memories for ex-pats.

stupid weather

this morning it was fair persisting down. i was asked when will summer be here. i replied when it stops raining. it has now. but it's not yet summer. stupid weather.

i forgot...

..what the hell was i going to say?...meh..can't of been that important. contributions welcome...

the innocence of youth

what can you say...12 year olds think they know it all (well he'll be 13 on guy fawkes...which is appropriate seeing as he's a fiery red-head). and that's the thing. he hates his red hair. yet it marks him as distinctive. he needs to pull his head in...literally...cos the poor bugger is marked. not only does he have a crap name (starting with a j...seriously...what was in the water 13 years ago?) but he is 'that red-headed kid'. he does dumb things in the community and everyone knows who it is. i can only defend him so many times.

piss off beggars

hallowe'en is a crap pagan festival. so far i have ignored three lots of trickle treaters (that's a 200% increase on last year) and that's what my students call it. they go out begging and can't even get the name correct. go away!

if it aint broke...

...you really shouldn't try to fix it. at least they didn't sanitise the words which people are wont to do. i'm talking about the classic song convoy. someone re-did it and if you want to download it on to your ipod then that's the one you're stuck with. and it's just not the same. just like the wainui tip.

also. you know you're desperate when you resort to buying coffee from a petrol station. it's only one step up from the stuff mrs miggins used to serve, but at least it's not as dire as starbucks.

some dickhead tried to push in front of me in line just before. i asserted myself. he won't try to do that again. stupid man.

tomorrow is a public holiday. the last one before christmas. i'm not going to do any work tomorrow. i'm going to catch up on my reading. and non-academic texts too.

p.s. pig pen this here's the rubber duck and i'm about to put the hammer down...

it's vegemite...but not as we know it

so they decided to bring out a new version of our favourite spread and for some stupid reason they decided to call it iSnack2.0. come on. who in their right mind is gonna buy that shit? so then after the protests they decided to call it cheesybite which is far more sensible. they couldn't call it cheesymite cos the rock had already commandeered that name. but those buggers decided to addict us to those 'limited edition' chips and then rip them out from under us. bastards.
and why would you add cheese to it when you can put the real stuff there yourself? vegemite is supposed to sit in your cupboard for ever and still be edible...i believe this new stuff expires after a few weeks...laziness...and just not cricket.

i had something else to say now...but it seems i have forgotten it...when i remember i will add it later as an edit. that will probably happen as soon as i log off from here.

quote of the day...

miss, stop doing your nails and get back here...we've worked out the answer.

cheeky shits.

that was my holiday...

i'm home now. what are my enduring memories?

singapore is flat, hot and has tonnes of tall buildings. it is not very green but it is trying to be. it has many different cultures there. there is a huge disparity between the haves and the have nots.

melaka (malacca to us english speakers) is interesting too. crowded and not as developed as where i live. hot, thought the sunburn is fading dammit. smelly, but i'm sure there are similar and worse smells elsewhere (but they soon pass...however the generator is currently eternal). lots of influences. and dirt cheap. 5 star hotel for 250 ringgit?(NZ$100)

most enduring memory? welcome to malaysia...here is my cock. when we first went exploring in melaka we went up this back street cos we could see a mosque dome there (i tried to insert the pic of it here but i don't know how to do that cos it hasn't appeared. i shall have to do some research)...anyway...she was taking pics and i was looking around. there was this dude on a scooter which seemed to be the predominant form of transport there cos there appeared be no road rules and no money and he was an interesting character. let me just say he appeared to be enjoying himself at our expense.
and i think i am a magnet for this kind of behaviour cos i saw it in LA as well. and on another note that is completely away from this entry. who is the idiot that invented over-write, and why do I keep hitting it, and how come I never remember how to turn the bastard off?

live long and prosper…until next time…

singapore is hot

man it's hot here. and it's muggy. and the buildings are really tall. and beer is really expensive, well all alcohol is. consequently they don't have a booze culture like we do cos a cheap bottle of plonk costs $25. they had a bottle of cloudy bay on sale at a restaurant i was at last night for $96.

today i went to the beach. it was lovely there. we had a much cooler day temperature wise which was nice. there was all sorts of plastic floating past in the water which was lovely and brown. i still went in though...up to mid calf. just to feel what it was like. it wasn't as warm as i thought it might be. there were hundreds of ships moored off the beach where i was, just waiting to get into the port.

yesterday i went to changi to the war memoral. that was interesting. i was a little disappointed that none of the prison camp was still standing. seems that the policy here is stuff history, knock it all down so we can build more high rises. this island can fit into lake taupo yet 5 million people live on it. consequently there are tall buildings everywhere. it would be great to be a crane company owner here because they are everywhere. i also went to orchard road to see all the shops. i saw watches that were worth more than my house. they were vulgar by the way. went to raffles to have a beer ($20) and eat peanuts then throw them on the floor. i found that a little hard to do. had dinner at clark quay and saw several lady-boys. two were quite attractive, the third looked like a boy in a wig, and not a very good wig at that. i think you'd have to have several singapore slings inside you to even contemplate going there. speaking of singapore slings i had one of those...when in rome and all...and it was palatible (or is that palatable? i'm sure someone will tell me). also went across to pulau ubin and back. and also because it was mooncake festival a few of fiona's mates and their kids got together and we walked around the block carrying lanterns. fiona thought it was funny to get me a noisy lantern that when i turned it on would attract all the children. so i spent the time surrounded by under 6s.

tomorrow i'm off to malacca so i can collect another stamp in my passport.

no pics sorry. fiona took some so i may find the time and the expertise to load some later.

and don't believe what they say...singapore is just as filthy as the rest of the world.

an update

not much has been happening. i've been to two funerals in the last week. i went to the NZEI annual meeting and it was interesting. the auckland people are stroppy and the president shut them down...it was great. and i'm off to singapore on the morrow. i'm currently in thermals cos it's cold and wet...deja vu for LA last year. i went from 12 C to 38 C. at least this year i'll be prepared. and i hate heat. i am looking forward to seeing monkeys though.

new words

**another disclaimer...when i wrote this i made links...that all came up error 404...the ubiquitous, non-sensical error, so i'm putting dates( in new zealand standard format of dd/mm/yy) in as a cross reference in case you care to check...i may come back and fix it later..or i may not...**

i hate text (02/07/09) speak (10/03/09)...that's been established...but...i do like words. i have opinions about new words. these are the words i like...aks, biggin (as in to make bigger), smallen (as in to make smaller), chillax, brung (the past tense of brought), shat (the past tense of shit).

these are the words/phrases i hate...bate (as in last week the all blacks bate the wallabies 33-6), versing, gotta (in the context of do you gotta...translation is...do you have a...).

i may add to either or both lists as the words spring to mind.
laters (another i like).

and an update...the whole duty roster is being re-vamped...due to this (11/08/09)...oh the power. but...yesterday i missed a meeting and it was a huge anti-me bitch fest. the chick i sent in my stead backed me up...yay...but...i still hate my job. love the kids...hate the work site. however. one of my colleagues left last year for bigger and better things at another school. he's back next year. tail between his legs. well...slightly not legal as the job hasn't been advertised and he had an informal interview just recently. i like it cos the boss wrote him off and i trained him as a leader and recognised it and backed him up...

yes, it's racist, but shhh...don't tell them

i was at a meeting today. i chose to sit at a table with someone i knew. she is a kaiarahi te reo and is fluent. as were all her mates (and one was hot btw...very very tasty). she and her mates decided to korero maori despite there being two of us whiteys at the table. i know a bit of the lingo so kept up with the general gist of the convo. but. i found it a bit rude. but one must not say it cos one may be considered racist... puh-lease...

nana's a pot-head

i'm thinking that medicinal marijuana should be decriminalised. as a scientist i know it has pain relieving qualities and it relieves the symptoms of glaucoma. why am i mentioning this? some doris got busted for growing marijuana in her back yard. she's 70. she's no threat. or is she? she's been given home detention for a year plus 300 hours community service. she's also merited a whole 15 minutes of fame on 60 minutes.

and why am i discussing this? cos we discuss current events and it was brought up. and then extrapolated (big word alert) on in an interesting way. one of my boys said his step dad got 8 months inside for growing cannabis. and he has stated that his future career plans involve smoking cannabis. i had to explain to him that maybe jail wasn't an ideal place for the pot-smoking nana. i find his sense of justice really interesting cos this guy is going to prison...sad but true. and it may be the first time he has ever expressed empathy and understanding for someone other than himself. i'm taking the credit for that. but despite my best efforts this guy will not complete his secondary education (in fact if he completes more than four weeks of year 9/third form i will eat my hat) and he will go to jail. i just hope he doesn't kill someone.

sad but true.

farts are funny

**warning...this blog entry contains references to bodily functions**

today at church we were all lining up for communion and someone dropped one. i had to bite my lips and stare at the floor cos otherwise i would've just pissed myself with laughter. and i wasn't the only one. it was a loud and proud and didn't smell (which is a pity). smelly ones are great. except when you have a nose that doesn't function properly and you can't smell them. i feel sorry for those who are blessed with an awesome fart generator and can't completely appreciate their heady vintage cos their snorer doesn't work correctly.

i have a phantom farter. well, we think we know who it is. and every time someone drops a silent but deadly we blame him.

i had another one a few years ago who used to eat eggs to deliberately drop the smelliest, foulest bombs imaginable. it got to a point where i had to ring his father and give him numerous detentions before he realised that it was only funny the first half a dozen times and after that it was just rude.

i also really like billy connolly's fart sketch where he describes what it would be like if they were coloured. pissed myself laughing there.

take the golden an...

i knew i'd come back to this...there is a huge furore at the moment about putting the h back into a city that never had one in the first place. and last night on the radio some dude rang up and said "take the golden H and put it in the tan van and give it to stan..." i knew what he was talking about but karyn and andrew thought he was on drugs. it was very clever. and also a great sesame st sketch. i can't find the words. if you remember it, or can tell me the words...i'd like to know.
and go tattoo stu...
oh..and futher to my entry on the 9th...what is it with preteen boys and their testicles? another boy (a mate of the last one) got an elbow in the nuts today. mind you, he was aksing for it. then, after knowing how much pain it caused him, he elbowed the protagonist in the same area!..personally i never felt a thing, as i said to them all, but why?...comments please.

i can't believe i'm a gym bunny

it's very hard to believe. but i have noticed some changes. no more trainee cankles. my fadoobedahs are firmer (damn you triceps pressups, i hate you). there are three gaps in the leg area. there are bits that now go in that didn't before (and while i don't get those bits out in public, i'm not the only one to have seen them)...there's your reference.

i have an idea for a referendum

bad hair cuts by parents should be punishable by jail time...unless they have been recommended by the teacher.

one of my girls was given a bad haircut the other day...it's terrible.

but on the flip side, i have a student who has had kutus for the last year and a half...her hair moves on its own. i told her today she needs to shave her head. she can't come back to school til she's done it. cruel but seriously...nits for that long? apparently she gets treated all the time but it's not working. her hair is solid eggs. on the flip side...she's managed to keep them to herself cos as far as i know no one has caught them from her. i think it's something that is generally known but not acknowledged and therefore avoided.

on another note...one of my boys got a tennis ball in the nuts today. he hit the deck. i pissed myself laughing. he told the boy that did it he had to go to the bathroom to check everything was still there...and if it wasn't, he was coming to get him.

and to cap off an eventful day...another got a three day stand down (well that is the rumour)...we don't get told these things. i sent him to the principal's office and he never came back. rumour has it he got three days. i'll just put a question mark on the electronic register if he's absent tomorrow. i'm not gonna aks. i'm gonna wait til i'm told, ie never.

next thing. some dickhead gave me a parking ticket tonight when i was in a vestry meeting. i have a parking permit. gave the ticket to the vicar and he'll sort it. still have a perfect record.

however did we cope?

this blog will show my age...you have been warned...
back in the olden days...i.e. the 80s...which is my favourite decade by the way...how did we cope sans internet and mobile phones?...we must've been seriously deprived.
at least our sports teams were better...ABs on top...cricket team ruled...
go the beige
p.s. an addenda...here's more stuff i thunk of...remote controls (i have seen one on a lead in the 80s..the allens had one), playstations et. al., 24 hour tv, ipods (walkmans rocked), instant gratification.

a-ni-mal!

he was a fantastic (or fentestuc if you listen to donkey) muppet. not sure if he or beaker was my favourite. but that may be the basis for another blog entry that shows my age. or not.

back to animals. we had pet day at school today. our student council is being very proactive this year which is great. they aksed for a pet day and i gave them one. it went really well i thought. there were lots of dogs at school this afternoon and none misbehaved (in fact, they were better behaved than the students). we also had cats and rats and a sheep (go nz!) and a kid (a real one of the goat variety) and a guinea pig and a mexican walking fish and a hen and a rat with wings (aka a pigeon)..and maybe some others that i can't remember. we had some pet rocks too..but i never saw them.

whilst the science in the science fair was a bit weak, the science fair went quite well. not that the others would know judging by what they put in to the science fair. science knowledge really isn't the best amongst the teachers i know about. but organisationally it looked good (and surface features are very important).

where's your sense of humour?

just went to see stage of origin...which is theatre sports but with rugby players (of both the union and league variety). they were funny. wellington vs auckland and not rigged at all! all i can say is it's great that those boys can play rugby cos they aint the sharpest knives in the drawer.

one interesting point in the afternoon however came from the audience. i sat behind a couple of our local all blacks. they shall remain nameless but one has small man's disease and the other scored the only try in last night's 19-18 thrashing of aussie. the try scorer dude got really upset when the guys on stage started taking the piss out of the fact that he also used to wear mascara. he wasn't laughing very much and in fact decided to scream a profanity or two at the stage (nice work role model!).

all in all an entertaining afternoon and my cheeks hurt from the laughing (by gee i was laugh!).

laying down the gauntlett

aka...opening the can of whupp ass...
seems i have unwittingly started some mass protestation...yay me!
how many more cliches can i throw at it...bring it on ding dong...with the gestures too.
if you are confused...see the fun police post.
ps...haven't checked the spelling...not sure if there is one t or two...i'm hoping to be informed...cos that means someone reads this.

pps...one t in gauntlet...cher bro!

excent?...what excent?

i don't have an accent..it's just the way i talk. but i do cringe when our PM says "fentestuc."
and i don't have a problem with this. i think it’s hilarious and one of the funniest things to never come out of nz. i mean aussies taking the piss out of out ‘accent’ is not new. and these guys do a fentestuc job of it. good on them for raising our profile. i’ll take the free publicity any day. they just need to master the terminal rise that seems to afflict blonde girls (no offense to any blonde girls out there). and incorporate the phrase “do you gotta…?” it doesn’t matter how many times I correct it, they keep on saying it. bravo to the smart girl who yells the correct sentence construction at the culprits.

i am the fun police

not that it made a difference. they still went and played bullrush after they were told not to. and one of my boys broke his finger. he doesn't really care. he ran out in front of a car and was in hospital for two weeks and when he was four he fell out of a moving vehicle. he's one of the bulletproof ones.

vergessen Sie nicht

the other night i was watching a show about my most favourite 80s band duran duran. that reminded me of my favourite song. it is called save a prayer...so don't forget. also (ironically enough)...i also really like simple minds don't you forget about me.
here are the bits of the words that i like.

You saw me standing by the wall,
Corner of a main street
And the lights are flashing on your window sill
All alone ain't much fun,
So you're looking for the thrill
And you know just what it takes and where to go
(that's verse, the first)

Pretty looking road,
try to hold the rising floods that fill my skin
Don't ask me why I'll keep my promise,
I'll melt the ice
And you wanted to dance so I asked you to dance
But fear is in your soul
Some people call it a one night stand
But we can call it paradise
(and that is verse the second)

p.s...the capitals are by default...i didn't put them there...simon did

arsonists are shit

there was a story on the news today about a congregation in the south island whose church was burned. it still stands but there was a lot of damage. their organ was destroyed. now i'm not a huge fan of organ music but a church organ is a magnificent instrument and i am in awe of those who play them. the co-ordination required is way beyond my simple skills. and i can empathise since my church's organ was destroyed by a fire too. it wasn't the fire that ruined it, but the thousands of litres of water that the sprinkler system dumped on it in order to save the building. for which we are grateful.

actually. the fire was a blessing in disguise because in the 70s a reconstruction occurred which we didn't like. we can now restore the organ to its nearly original condition.

and another thing. another reason why arsonists are shit is because they also burn down schools. i know arson is about power but it's shit to burn down things that mean so much to communities. but i guess it's why they do it.

stay tuned. our organ will rock (pun intended). and good luck to st paul's trinity for tracking down the bastard.

i was also going to visit rangiatea but the week before some idiot set fire to it. i know it's been re-built but it's just not the same. i must make sure i go there.

meh

i like this word. not that it means anything. but it sums stuff up.

something profound

in case you're interested. moving away from the song titles now but into something that still involves the arts. maybe song lyrics or other forms of poetry that catch my fancy. these words caught my ear today as i was listening to this song. sent to me from belgium.

You're the only thing that I love
It scares me more every day
On my knees I think clearer.

Goodness knows I saw it coming
Or at least I'll claim I did
But in truth I'm lost for words.

What have I done it's too late for that
What have I become truth is nothing yet
A simple mistake starts the hardest time
I promise I'll do anything you ask...this time.

chocolate...snow patrol

school daze

i know i know..i loved school so i've never left. but i think i'm over my secondary school fixation. don't get me wrong. as a place, my secondary school worked for me. academically challenging and structured. just the way i like it. it's silly to wonder what may have happened if i'd have gone to the local public high school (at which a friend now teaches).

i went to a reunion earlier this year. i have now got all that reunion stuff out of my system and probably wont go again. the girl i thought was quite cool, isn't. she's still stuck in the 16 year old mentality...she's 38. get over it. another who's a flash doctor deliberately chose to not talk to me. i mean puh-lease! i'm not losing sleep over it. my life is richer for her not being in it.

but one thing i did like and was my favourite piece at this year's winter choir school was the school prayer. i'll put the text in so you can share it:

Except the Lord build the house,
their labour is but lost that build it.

Build Thou the House then, O Lord,
for Thine own work

Build it as Thou wouldst have it.

Though we see not the plan of the building,
teach us that we may not mar Thy work.

And the building that Thou buildest
shall stand, and shall not fall,
and the gates of Hell shall not prevail against it.

i have no idea who wrote it so i can't credit it. i'm hoping it's a new zealand thing so i can make a tie in with yesterday being new zealand poetry day.

what to say

not quite sure what to ruminate on today. our fair land has been experiencing some earthquakes, but they are too far away for me to feel them. apparently this one was a goodie. we never felt it up here but as you can see there have been plenty of aftershocks.

what else...? apparently the black sox are playing softball in saskatoon in saskatchewan. we are backing up and looking for a fourth title in a row.

the all blacks play the aussies in the bledisloe cup tonight and i am a bit worried. i don't think donald is up to it and piri should be starting. but apparently he doesn't mind being on the bench. not a great attitude so maybe he doesn't want it bad enough.

back to school monday. i'm still tired. could do with another week.

oh crap your pants

choir school has been and gone for another year and planning has begun for the next.

it was a great week for our small group. especially upon the arrival of the bantam. what is it with boys with small man's disease? they have to prove how big and manly they are by being as obnoxious as possible. the last three days turned into an on-going pissing contest with the bantam trying to prove how big and manly he was. sad thing is, the person he was trying to impress couldn't have cared less. it was hilarious until he finally got up my nose.

basically this was a week of little sleep and lots of singing. the music was ok. the anthem in the final service was so good we got applause. even the conductor was surprised that we got such a great, spontaneous response.

i may write more later, i am still trying to recover.

p.s...as for the title, double meaning. institutional food wreaks havoc with one's digestive system. the other is it's a bastardisation of the title of one of the songs we sang.
i thought i'd written something about last year's school but i can't seem to find it. just one more comment...i think i'd said that it (last year) was the filthiest ever, this one was right up there too. the general theme for this year was tissues)if you want to know more...just ask)...

shot down in a blaze of glory

on friday i went bowling...but mainly for the lazer strike that was the dessert. i'm shit at bowling. i peak way too early. and i did. strike with the first ball. it was all downhill from there. until the last frame. i got a strike there too. i didn't win, but i didn't come last. so i'm ok with that. i didn't win the lazer (that's how they spell it...i guess it's funky and appeals to the young'uns who don't care about spelling) strike. but i never got hit enough to lose power in my laser. i'm happy with that. i love laser/lazer strike.

i hate text speak...the second

i really really hate text speak...passionately. which is kinda ironical (yes it's a word (both of them)...again...cos i said so) seeing as i don't use capitals here...(right boy?)...i guess i pick my battles...
a bientot...

space...the final frontier...

last night i went to see star trek. and, to quote craig revel horwood, i LOVED it. but i'm thinking maybe not for the same reasons as others. my friends and i laughed all the way through. but no one else in the theatre was laughing when we were. i didn't think it was taking itself too seriously. and i think it had just the right level of tackiness. i liked that all the leads said lines i would've expected them to say. i liked that a red shirt dies fairly early. i liked that kirk got it on with a green chick. i liked that they were all wearing the correct coloured uniforms. karl urban channelled deforest kelley fabulously and delivered the lines with the right amount of cynicism. i also liked how sulu forgot to take the handbrake off on the enterprise and that there are two men from down under in it. there were a couple of things i didn't like, but only one was to do with plot. one was uhura. and i'm not going to say any more because i don't want to spoil stuff for others. one thing was the shaky camera work. would it have cost much for them to put the camera on a tripod? we have one at school they could've borrowed. i did not like chekov. i did not like leonard nimoy's teeth. i half expected them to come flying out of his mouth. i think that he could at least afford ones that fit better.

memories may be beautiful and yet...

...what's too painful to remember you simply choose to forget...

today's entry is inspired by trademe. someone is selling a very toxic washing machine that they have dubbed the 'death machine'. it sounds like a washing machine that we had when i was young.

this thing lived in the laundry. the laundry was a very unstable, and i'd imagine cheap, add on to the house i lived in (not our fault, it was like it when we got it...besides i was under 5 so not my fault either...). it had a life of it's own. i can't remember the brand name but i'm sure my brother does. it's a machine after all and he's a boy. this thing would walk all over the 'laundry'. upon reflection i think it just wanted to be closer to the drier which was opposite it. it had a funky knob that you turned around and then pulled out. it made a great clicking sound.

one day it got really frisky and 'walked' over to the back door. it successfully blocked the door so we couldn't get in...

i am an innocent man...

...or rather, there's enough doubt that you can't convict.

i've never thought that he did it but there were some moments in the case that i wasn't so sure.

freaky david bain moment...two weeks after they were all killed i read an article for teacher's college that was written by robin. it wouldn't have been memorable except for it being written by robin.

i now wonder how many others will try to get their convictions overturned. john barlow is next i think (i think he did it though) and i hope peter ellis tries to get his quashed too (he definitely didn't do it).

this result makes me glad we don't still have the death penalty...but i'd like to bring it back if you are 100% sure.

oh the weather outside is frightful

it can't make up its mind. it's raining, it's not, it's hailing, it's not, it's sunny, it's not. the one consistent thing though is...it's cold.

there's a dog yowling somewhere. it's been doing it for two days now. wish it'd stop.

i'm listening to the weather

this title has two meanings. it's a bic runga song and it's my homage to nz music month.

but. it really is very wintry out there and i'm listening to the rain being blown into my windows by the gale force and icy southerly we have going on outside (here). a friend of mine flew back from the 'tron yesterday. he was not amused. it was very rocky flying into wellington. the ferries are going nowhere too. and that's great cos the trip across the strait will be rocky to say the least.

on wednesday someone had an accident (here) when they were on the wrong side of the road at 5am. it caused chaos. at 9 am i had 10 students in my class out of 33. however, by 10.20 i had all but 6 there. normal services resumed.

take the money and run

the lead story on the news tonight. a nz bank made an error in giving someone $10,000,000. they transferred $6.7 of it before the bank found out and then they buggered off. it should make for interesting news over the next few days. apparently it's made world news.

i kissed a girl...

and i liked it...

but that's not today's topic. katy perry is on idol. hence the title.

todays topic is/are timtams...they are the devil's biscuits.

i told 100 students that i liked them. only one convinced his caregiver to buy them for me. and he's considered a shit by all who meet him. they don't understand him...

PS he's a ginga...so even more against him. (no offense)

too shy shy..hush hush...

this is not what i was originally going to put here cos i had a song trapped in my head. but it was supplanted by kajagoogoo. that's because i'm watching the news. they were a one hit wonder in the 80s and one of their members has great ink. and they are so good that i can't even remember the original song i had stuck in my head. they have reformed to cash-in cos i guess they have run out of money. like spandau ballet.

but the real subject of my entry today must be camp. in contrast to the last one ( Friday, November 30, 2007, sorry, haven't worked out how to do the link yet...i will research and update if i can be arsed).

in order to make this clearer i have added subheadings...cos i left them out of my last assignment and that cost me an A!

history
i went to this camp as an 11 year old.

weird factor
i think i have identified the cabin i stayed in.

the thank goodness i know what i'm doing factor
no one from the campsite did the meet-and-greet. handover was done by the teacher from my school who was here before me. none of the activities were explained, but as i have done camps like this before i have picked up some knowledge (like how to put on a harness so it is safe).

our parents were FANTASTIC
the parents we took with us had done this all before. they could safely put on a harness. they were OK with students kayaking in a river which the students LOVED. and no-one died on my watch.

the benefits of going last
at my school all our students went to camp in a two week block (not my choice-the boss dictated it). i went last. this was for selfish reasons cos i wanted to spin out the work for as long as possible so i didn't have to do so much planning (we do too much paperwork at my school..it's getting me down). but...by the time we went all the kinks had been ironed out. like the uncertified flying fox. like the inappropriate food (which i have no issue with. thanks vegetarian kid. your food was great. i'm glad i could share it as a low fat option).

i am the bedtime nazi (and thanks sylvia)
i took 11 and 12 year olds on camp. they notoriously take AGES to sleep..what with the talking and all...on the first night we confined them to their cabins at 8.30pm. they knew lights out was 9.30 pm. i enforced that. and the thing i learned from sylvia? i plonked myself on a chair in the middle of all the cabins with my book. they knew i was there. and they did not make a noise (well...we were mean to three cabins..me and another...but that may be another blog..if i remember)...we had to do punshment for three cabins...but long story short...they were all asleep by 10.10pm. when i told the boss that she was amazed...and thus laid down the challenge for day two...

day one's challenge
i'm 'slightly' competitive...(well more than slightly)...and one senior teacher said she got a good night's sleep cos she got into bed at 12.30 am. i was determined to beat that. which i did. so when the boss said she was amazed i had them all in bed asleep by 10.10 pm i had to beat that.

day two's challenge
so that was a nice set up for day two. i beat that. the chillins were bedded down by 9.55pm. i am the night-time nazi. plus i know that i will get questioned about the time. so i had a witness. (who's queen?!).

the downside of early nights
the first night they woke me up at 5.30 am.
the second it was 4.30 am.
on both occasions i rolled over and went to sleep.
but i did a major guilt trip.

it was a short timeframe
three days. at first i was annoyed cos deep down i enjoy camp despite the last entry...and here's an interesting segue...one of the parents i had on camp last time was here this time. we got on OK. she was my 500 partner and we played OK together. i am shit at 500. i enjoy it but i don't play intelligently. but the short timeframe worked. and we can do EOTC at the end of the year. i get to go to laser strike again. i love laser strike.

the how did we ever cope without it factor
where i was there was no cellphone coverage. luckily i had to take a boy to the doctor yesterday so i went back to modern civilisation briefly and it was nice to get texts. then today when we got back i texted my arse off. i also got a decent coffee. i hate being a coffee snob. i didn't drink coffee for THREE DAYS! plus when i texted my brother to gloat that i was the bedtime queen he informed me that i had probably ruined their camp cos we all know that staying up late is what they all aim for. i think deep down they were OK with it.

the camp staff
we met no one that was running the camp. but the kitchen guys were HOT. fijian. lovely. and the one that took his shirt off when chopping wood in the cold...well i wouldn't kick him out...

conclusion
i enjoyed camp this time.

hmmm...not sure of a song title today...

on wednesday we go to camp. hopefully it's better than the last time. however the weather is forecast to be very very cold and very very shit. 80 11 and 12 year olds...fun fun fun...

full report when i return.

should be a blast!

PS...go the 'canes. i want to go to a home semi and home final...updates to come..

don't you forget about me...

or in this case, a chocolate paddle pop.

i have a fridge with a tiny freezer on the top of it. i have this habit of sticking stuff on the top while i rearrange the stuff inside. the top of the fridge is taller than i am so it's a bit hard to see the top of it. in this case i left a paddle pop on the top. a wee while ago. i just rediscovered it today. it was a bit melted and stuck to the top of the fridge.

damn you paddle pop lion and your icy sweet delicious chocolatey milky treats.

but then again i should clean the top of the fridge a bit more often than once every never...

what doesn't kill us is making us stronger...

i know my current theme is song titles..but i'm stretching it a little to include lyrics...and stretching it even further to include sitcom opening title song lyrics...

wait for it...

it's not that D & M...

but i think i may 'get' the gym junkie thing...thought i'd never say this...but i think i'm addicted to that sore, tired feeling you feel after a workout...

wow!

it's a mad world...

this week, because it was the end of the holidays, it fair persisted down for most of the first three days back. picture the scene. 33 energetic students trapped in their small classroom. lots of incredibly immature boys who don't think. well, something had to give and on wednesday it was a very big window. 14 stitches and $350 later and i'm not sure if the lesson was learned. and here's why i say this.

the very next day the weather was a bit better. i decided, against my better judgement, to let them stay inside. ten minutes later there was a knock on the staffroom door. fearing the worst, i went to investigate. turns out three of my boys were chasing each other around the room with metre rulers. the rest of the class who were behaving got a bit annoyed when i kicked them all out but as i said to them, i couldn't trust those behaving like idiots to stay out.

a plea from a teacher frustrated by immature boys who don't know how to behave. stop spoiling them and make them accountable for their behaviour.

an update from a previous incident (not sure i have mentioned all of it before...)
the students from the carpark have gone on to worser things (yes, it's a word, again because i said so). one of the girls has been sent up north and the other two keep running away. i saw the latter two in town in the holidays. they looked appalling and it turns out they had been away from home for a couple of days. they were found earlier this week.

one of the boys involved, the one who pulled the gun on a teacher (i'm going to look back and see if i've told you about that), is FINALLY being removed from his parents. too little too late. apparently after pulling a gun on the teacher he went and shot someone in the head with it. luckily it was only a BB gun. this kid is too young to prosecute. he is also illiterate. hopefully his mother has stopped making excuses for him...

P.S...i checked back. seems i have referred to the carpark incident twice without actually mentioning the initial incident. short summary. in feb 08 five students spent the night in a carpark in the local mall. weather was dreadful. two of them were from my class. one was the gun toter mentioned earlier and one is a chronic runaway.

25-04-15 - at the going down of the sun and in the morning, we will remember them...

In Flanders Fields

by John McCrae, May 1915

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep,
though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

you're the voice

maybe it is true what they say about not missing something til it's gone. yesterday my voice was sketchy...but still there. however, when i woke up this morning it had completely gone. a few things spring to mind but the primary one is that i'm annoyed that this didn't happen in school time cos then i'd get a day off. what does that say? (that question was rhetorical, because i know what it says).

and this is going to be another short post until i get inspired again.

i only want to say...

i don't have very much really to add. not much is happening. just as the unwinding starts it's time to start back up again.

what i do know, however, is that i am tired...

hooray, hooray, it's a holi-holiday...

i just read my last entry...it was a bit of a pile of apeshit really, wasn't it. big assumption to make that no-one outside of NZ knows what apeshit is. so i decided to wiki it. it wasn't listed. so maybe there are only a few of us who appreciate that word.

speaking of apes...there was an article in the paper the other day about chimpanzee sex. apparently female chimps put out when the males share meat with them...well duh...(hope i'm not the only one who made that connection, otherwise that was a pretty lame comment.)

ok…back to the holiday thing. today it is good friday. so that means the end of term has arrived. i’m going to actually have a holiday break longer than four days I’ve decided. it’s not worth working for all that time. the plan is as follows. study tomorrow and mon. and that’s all…I hope I can stick to it.

I have to do a term review cos my boss loves shuffling paper. when I reflect on this term it has been busy. and I think that’s all I’m gonna cover about school on the first day of my holidays.

WARNING, GIRLY STUFF FOLLOWS
I bought this top last year without trying it on. and it was too small…it was a cool top though so I decided to keep it. today I wore it to church and it’s possibly maybe even a little too big for me now. how about that! so that means I have to go shopping…again…sigh.

and now i'm going to bring in the washing.

these are a few of my favourite things...

the word apeshit...i just read it in a fellow blogger's anecdotes. what an amazing word which means literally nothing to people from outside of aotearoa.

black..the colour and the album. i know that many think that this album makes metallica a sellout...but i reckon (another great word by the way) that if it attracts you to the brand and makes you want more...how can it be a bad thing?..it makes you money. that must be good. you just do 'better' next time. but the people like what they like and the purists hate it. i don't care. i like it. and black IS a colour...no matter what anyone says.

being a bogan...this relates to the previous entry. bare feet are a good thing. as are black t-shirts, long hair, a great drum beat, an interesting lead riff and a solid bass. why are the bass players the sexy ones? is it that finger thing they have going on?

sport...any decent kiwi loves sport...and dan (the cricket version) is very hot...

new zild...again...another segue. as cringemaking as our 'accent' is...and i will argue this to the death...i have NO accent..it's just the way i talk...no one else in the world is like us. we are not australian and we are not british as i have been accused of being overseas. i am proudly and uniquely kiwi. and deeply, deeply proud. oh, and yes...the 'accent' is sexy.

travelling...broadens the horizons and makes one appreciate where one is from...which is the best little place in the world...

correct spelling and punctuation..it's just courtesy. like being punctual..i like that too.

ink...i like them but not the tacky regretful ones. my brother and i have a slight disagreement. we both like them but i believe they have to mean something. he thinks they are just pretty art. whatever they are, i like them...and i have them...get over it!

brown people...mmmm...nuff said...

so...thanks for the inspiration sam...i may steal your top 50 idea...when i get over the whole plagiarism thing i have going on...

i'm getting married in the morning...

and before you go all weird and all strange on me...the title doesn't apply to me. once was enough. seriously. but my baby bro (a whole two years younger) went and did it again. and you know what? if I was ever to do it again...and believe me I never will ...what he did is actually a good way to go. his new missus is very practical I think. plus, bonus, i like her, the whole shebang lasted 10 minutes, and even then they stretched it out cos they felt a bit guilty. the legal I marry you stuff takes 2 minutes. now that's my kind of wedding.
PS. he was divorced for two whole weeks...how can he sow his wild oats in that time...still you never know what you never know. we have a lot of commonalities and also a lot of differences. and I may extrapolate on that in a later post. if I can remember. and if I can solve my hindi problem...your help please.

i am an illegal alien

loose song connection here but i had a really weird day and i will explain the reference forthwith. my class is really challenging and we are disrupting their programme by having what we call 'festival week'. we have lots of fun activities which should really disrupt their status quo. well yesterday it did...they were appalling. but today it was like they had all been abducted by aliens and swapped with nice, compliant, thinking beings. i had a fantastic day. it was surreal...bet the old ones are back tomorrow.

my boss loves memos. everytime we are naughty we get a memo about it. today's was about people being outside after 2.30pm. this is a no-no. you must be in your classrooms. no exceptions.

what's the haps bro?

not much...except my blog appears in hindi and i have no idea how to fix it...any ideas?...cos it's bloody annoying
and speaking of hindi...i'm reading Q & A...up to chapter 2...it's hard to read any quicker when you only read during the sermon on a sunday

one black friday

yay! i found a song title to go with today's entry...however, that doesn't mean today's entry is gonna be that exciting...not sure what you're gonna see when i upload this but there's some crazy shit going on. there's some hindi characters going on...
so..the title...it's a mockers song...andrew fagan who was the lead singer does a regular radio slot with his wife karen hay who was the radio with pictures chick in the 80s. i listen quite regularly...they're pretty good. but i digress...again...i have a more mundane question for all you mathematicians out there (and you know who you are)...how often does a black friday happen in feb and march...and should i buy a lottery ticket?
i'm gonna upload this now...sans editing cos half of it is in hindi...goodness knows what will appear...wish me luck...
PS..in case you're wondering...i've had to edit several times now to get it looking like as you see it...

i hate text speak

i really tried to think of a song title to fit this blog cos that was kinda my loose theme for the last few entries. i still might find one yet.

i have enlightened you to one of my pet peeves (people out of rhythm at the gym) and now i'm gonna share another. the clue to it is in the title.

yes...i hate text speak. especially when your text isn't even near to the limit and you're not trying to conserve letters. please spell correctly.

and on another subject. i went over the new road they're building. the dowse interchange (i could be all fancy and put a link here...but if you're interested and motivated you'll do the research yourself). i was very underwhelmed by it all. even my engineer friend, who for him a big new road like that is like porn, was underwhelmed. in his quietly conservative way he said that they were perhaps a week premature in opening it. but it sure was interesting to see how they spent millions of my dollars. i'm guessing when it's finished it'll be worth it.

a bientot

oh terry...

yeah..i know...the real title is oh sherrie...but his name is terry.

and before you get excited he is the instructor at the gym for the tuesday night combat class. last night's was tough.

there were 70 in the class. i had newbies in front of me and i was worried that one of them would kick me in the face. but it's all good...still pretty...he is really laid back but you just wanna work hard for him (he's hot you see)...so i worked hard and as a consequence every time i rolled over in bed last night i got cramp in my instep...i hate it there...

strange day

i attended a funeral today, actually i sang in the choir. we did a fantastic job. i think the deceased would've been pleased. it was really nice singing with someone i last sang with 12 years ago. it was quite refreshing hearing his familiar voice in my ear.

however. before i got to the funeral a new student was placed in my class. he is very naughty. he's naughty because he's had a shit upbringing. now the behaviourists say we shouldn't blame their background (deficit thinking it's called) but it plays a part. he has been in the school approximately 2 weeks and my class is the third he has been placed in. apparently he thinks i'm 'nice' (but this is probably cos i've been nice to him, trying to build a rapport). but if he mentions it in public he's gonna ruin my street cred. so for today...so far so good. i had to leave after morning interval so he only had an hour and a half in my class and i didn't ask him to write anything. i now have three students with that name so that means two things. when i say that name sharply three people spring to attention and when i say that name nicely three people answer. it is very confusing. what i want to know is what was in the water 11-12 years ago to make this name so popular. personally i hate it. this may have something to do with the fact that almost every student i have met with this name is a complete shit (including my step-nephew).

and here's my segue. teachers can almost never find a name they like for their offspring. there are a few i would never call children. and the weird thing is they start with a j.

the next thing i missed out on is that one of my 11 year old year 7s brought bourbon to school. he is one of the boys mentioned above with the name that i have three of. i wasn't there to snap him with it.

and here's today's ironical moment (yes it's a word, again cos i said so). i had a resource teacher of learning and behaviour (RTLB) doing some observations on the third child with that name. he was absolutely fine despite me sitting new naughty student next to him. but bourbon-bringer was an absolute shit. he was playing up for the RTLB and performing. i have some very immature boys in my class this year. funnily enough the two main culprits' names start with that j letter. bloody j. my least favourite letter of the alphabet. no offense to good people whose names start with a j, like jesus for instance.

i also heard through the grapevine that new naughty boy got beaten up too. i picked a very interesting day to have off.

update on a student from last year. pretty sure i mentioned the students of mine that spent the day in the carpark in a previous blog. one of them came into our school on monday and pulled a gun on a teacher. it was a BB gun, but still. she's freaked out. and on another note. i have the half brother of the girl that spent the night in that carpark in my class this year. he's the type of student i really like. the likeable rogue. frustrates the hell out of me but there's something really endearing about them. i seem to always get them.

i get the 'good' students... apparently the deputy boss told a new teacher who was having difficulty with one of her students that it was a pity my class was full cos i'd sort him out. how bout that cred. seems my class isn't full cos they placed a new student with me. i'm up to 33. but that's cos i may be losing one next week...

we'll wait and see.

before the parade passes by....

yesterday i backed up and did security again. it was for the cuba st carnival. i enjoyed myself. i was assigned to the mainstage. there was a continuous stream of performers...most of them i was meh about. but the wellington international ukelele orchestra played and that's where (and when) the shit hit the fan.

i have some history with them...a couple of years ago they tried to set a record for the most ukes playing together so i have played with them...they rock!

back to my story...there must've been 20,000 at the ukelele orchestra event...and in their wisdom the company i was volunteering for put three women on the gate. now girls rock and we are tough...but the girls we had (including me) were not a match for the crowd. i radioed for back up with visions of me being stampeded to death going through my mind. some hot boys turned up and took control which was fine by me...but the stupid chick in charge growled at me. for fuck's sake she was not there being crushed by the crowd. i'm 5'7" and i'm not petite (but i weigh under 3 figures so i'm not a boombata either) and my judgement said call for help...stupid bitch...

the boys restored order after the call from the damsel in distress.

and here's my funny anecdote for the day...some old asian chick who spoke no english was trying to push her stolen shopping trolley with some minor purchases against the crowd and into the ensuing throng. she would not take no for an answer. so i put my foot under her wheel and she tried to run over it. some members of the crowd tried to egg her on. i yelled help to some strong looking brown boy next to me whose name i didn't know and he assisted me...we moved her aside and people could leave...i've concluded some people are idiots but i think i knew that already.

and here's my highlight. the german group whose name i forget were on the back of a bedford that either broke down or had no engine...i don't know which. but the sight of all those young brown boys pushing that thing stirred my loins...as wrong as that is i'm a red blooded girl with a penchant for brown boys..and girls...nice arses boys...in my opinion...

and on a minor note...top gear is being lambasted cos they put fake spyders in the ring for stunts..i don't care..they looked great and who would sacrifice spyders for thrills in this economic climate...get over it...

and swifts rule...they play great football..thanks top gear...i enjoyed you...

we need a break in the weather...

i really didn't want to be doing blogs about weather but i just find myself compelled to. it seems to be so random at the moment. today we received a gift from Australia. and it was torrential. i think my students were hoping there'd be more so there'd be flooding and they could go home. it's also been unseasonably cold at times. last weekend on that icky day (you know the one...the revolting romantic one...) i found myself wearing thermals it was so cold. then, the next day i ventured north of the bombay hills (top gear live...tell you in another blog if i remember) and it was relatively mild...pleasant even. though they had had the hottest day in 137 years the previous tuesday. my aunt said it was only 32 point something C, which i don't consider hot at all, but it was 100% humidity which would have made it horriffic (i know that spelling looks wrong...when i work out the correct spelling i'll fix it, if it needs it).

weather is ok now. no rain, still and calm. makes me wonder what's next. doesn't feel like earthquake weather. at least it wont be too wet for the rugby tonight and when the 'canes lose (c'mon wellington fans...you know how tough it is to support our boys) they'll have to find something else to blame.

and one more thing...did you notice i didn't start this post with the word so? i read back over my old posts. i can't believe how many i started with the word so. must be one of my things. i'm trying very hard to cut back.

hope you're using your apostrophes properly!